Posts
Fires
of Israel
Memoirs
and Words of Saba Yisroel Dov Odesser o.b.m.
Volume
1 Part 2
[Continuing
about the great importance of Likutay Tefilos]
The
Likutay Tefilos is not a composition which - - one puts together a
book of toaroas (holy teachings) or prayers – this is Rabbi
Nussun's hisbodidus!
He
had hisbodidus, so he extracted a drop in the ocean of his
hisbodidus, and he wrote it up in the holy tongue, and this is
Likutay Tefilos! This is not a composition which one makes – with a
(preparation) - - his hisbodidus, his fire, he wrote up, so that we
could also learn how to have hisbodidus!
Rabbi
Nussun writes in the introduction, “Such prayers have yet to be in
the world!”
And
we merited that we know of it, and we have this book, only we need to
strengthen, and say every day! Every day – the most possible! (*
See Koachvay Ohr, The Men of Rabbi Nachman, Part 3 article 24. And
see Siach Sarfay Kodesh, volume 6, article 40 which corrects the
quotation, the common denominator is that one should definitely say
the prayers every day).
In
Order To Remember
One
needs to be a big geebor (-mighty warrior) to save himself from all
the vanities of the world! Yeah, because from all of them absolutely
nothing remains! From all the foolishness – from money, from all
the bodily desires – absolutely nothing! There is nothing real
(“mamash”) in it, nothing! Absolutely nothing! The main thing is
only; Torah, prayer, and good deeds – this remains! (*See Words of
Rabbi Nachman, article 51).
(Someone
asks, “With the passage of time one forgets everything.”) One
forgets?! Nu, “Limaan <in order> tizkor <to remember>!”
One must remember! One must always remember (-here Saba uses a
different Yiddish synonym)!… (*See Likutay Halachos, Orach Chaim,
Blessing on Sitings and Specific Blessings 5:14, “And so too
regarding the main memory (/consciousness) mentioned above, which is
to remember always of the future world, which is confronted by an
onslaught of the evil eye from which comes forgetfulness, to make the
heart forget G-d forbid this remembrance. Therefore the remedy for
this is to review this remembrance orally, to regularly, every day,
speak out explicitly regarding this remembrance, to speak to one's
heart, and to remind oneself explicitly, 'What will be the tachlis
(end) of me in the future world, and what will be my end, for did I
come here to plant myself permanently G-d forbid in this world?
Behold everyone know that there is no permanence in this world which
passes by and runs and flies by speedily, and I didn't come here
except to prepare myself for the future world etc..' And for this it
is necessary to learn books of mussar (ethics) which are founded on
the words of our Rabbis o.b.m. in the Talmud, and Medrash, and the
words of the true tzaddikim etc., because all the true books of
mussar remind of the tachlis of the future world. And so too it is
necessary to do hisbodidus every day, and to speak explicitly of the
tachlis of the future world as mentioned, because speech has great
power to remind the person etc..”).
Certainly
– the world conceals everything, one forgets oneself, one can
forget entirely from the main vitality. However, here it reminds us!
When we learn the holy books, they remind us so that we don't forget!
(* Likutay Halachos, Yoreh Daya, Laws of Slaughtering 5:5, “However,
this needs great exertion and a lot of work to reveal the
concealment, because this is the entire job of man in this world. And
from the greatness and magnitude of the concealment not every person
merits to this, to reveal the concealment, only the greatest
tzaddikim and true sages, whom with their very very profound wisdom
draw very wondrous intelligence through which they reveal the
concealment, and they make known His Divinity Blessed He in the
world, and they reveal the truth, that the whole world is hevel
havulim <empty vanities>, a passing shadow, wafting breath. And
they give advice/remedies and straight guidance to each and everyone
according to his level, in such a way that he can save his soul from
the error of the world, which comes from the greatness of the
concealment which is in the world, and so that he will endeavor all
his days for the end and the finale, that he should be saved from the
pits of hell, and he should merit to eternal life, to know
(“recognize”) Him Blessed He, for this is the main tachlis etc..
However, truthfully, even though everyone knows this, nevertheless it
is a great wisdom and understanding to speak about this every time,
and to scream and to reveal this concealment. Like we find that all
the great tzaddikim and true sages scream a lot of this, like all of
the book of Koheles (Ecclesiastes) which is full of this, and so too
King David r.i.p. in many Psalms, and so too in other holy books.
Because the true tzaddikim speak of this with such holy permutations,
and with such profound wisdom, to the extent that through this they
arouse people and reveal each time this concealment, in such a way
that even so people will be aroused from their slumber and errors,
and they will remember the true utter fallacy of the world, and they
will return to Hashem, because this is the essential great wisdom of
all the wisdoms, to look at the ultimate tachlis etc..”).
(Someone
asks, “When one speaks he remembers, but when he goes out he
forgets.”) Nu, certainly, certainly – one needs to fulfill
“Oovilechtichu <and when you go> badehrech <on the way>”
- even when one goes out, one should also be with Hashem Yisburach!
Not let it slip his mind (“maisee'ach daas”)! (* Likutay
Halachos, Orach Chaim, Laws of Rosh Hashana 4:7, “And this is the
aspect of 'Bishivtichu bivaisechu <when you sit in your house>
oovilechtichu badehrech <and when you go on the way>,” that a
person needs to recognize Hashem Yisburach both when he is in his
house, where there it is in the boundaries of holiness, and when he
goes out, outside his hous and goes on the way, even though that
there they (-evil forces and impurities) have Heaven have mercy a
grip, nevertheless also there it is necessary to remember Hashem
Yisburach and cling to Him, also there on the outside, because his
Kingdom has dominion over everything, the aspect of “and You give
life to all of them (Nechemya 9),” in the aspect of, “When I rise
to the heavens there You are, and when I am flat out in hell, here
You are (Psalms 139:8),” which is the aspect of going in and out
etc..”).
(The
asker, “This is very difficult.”) Nu, “Key <for> low
duvur raik hoo <it is not an empty matter> meekem <from you>
(Deuteronomy 32:47),” - “Low richoaku hee <it isn't distant>
(Deuteronomy 30:11),” it is not far, it is not hard! On just needs
to desire, have true desire!… (*Ullim Litrufa, letter from
Thursday, Torah Portion of Shimini 5594, “Remember well hevel
(-emptiness, vanity) of the world, 'hevel havulim' it has nothing
mamash (actual), and even though everyone knows this, even still it
is necessary to review this every single day, and to grab every day
everything that we can, maybe, maybe we can save ourselves from the
deluge of abundant water, from the depth of the sea of the hevel of
the world. And at the very least, the holy desire itself is also very
good and presious, and the exertion to save oneself, even if he
doesn't merit properly, is also very good and precious, and no
exertion, or determination, and good desire is lost, forever and all
eternity, and eventually all the exertions and good determination
will be gathered, and they will that the person out of the pit of
hell, from the quicksand, to light, to gaze in the pleasantness of
Hashem etc..”
Likutay
Halachos, Choshen Mishpat, Laws of a Guarantor 3:5, “And this way
is good advice/remedy for every person in the world, from big to
small etc.. And every person, according to who he is, needs to
accustom himself very much at this, to always yearn and long for
Hashem Yisburach with strong and powerful desire, and this is
something that certainly every person can fulfill, even the lowest of
the low, and it is impossible to ruin or refute this aitzu
(-advice/remedy) in any way, someone who wants to fulfill it. Because
granted that all the matters and the aitzoas (advice, remedies) of
the world, the bal duvur (-litigator, satan, evil-inclination) can
rise up and not let the person do them, but desire alone, this is
impossible to abolish in any way, because, 'be what may, even still I
want to return to Hashem Yisburach with strong desire etc.,' because
however he is, nevertheless one should not soften the desire, and not
let go and not leave the desire, on the contrary, one should accustom
himself to yearn and long, every time, more and more, with stronger
and stronger desire for Hashem Yisburach, and this desire of itself
is very good, and one can merit through this to complete true
repentance, and to rise to all the heights (/good qualities) of
holiness, as mentioned.”
Nu,
certainly is is difficult – Nu, one must do what is difficult! (*In
other talks, Saba praised what is difficult, saying that it is
precisely what is difficult that Rabbainu gives us to do.
Likutay
Halachos, Yoreh Daya, Laws of Slaughtering 5:6, “And certainly a
person has the ability to choose good, and to look upon the truth, if
he desires, however there is a great battle on this, for this is the
entire job of a person in this world. And therefore the main thing is
faith in the true sages, and to draw close to them and their
disciples and to all that accompany them. Because the true sage
tzaddikim who did not allow themselves to err in the vanities of the
world, and they merited to win the battle, and to completely separate
themselves from the vanities of the world and its desires, they know
extremely well the entire matter of this concealment that is in the
world, and they know how to draw very supernal intellect to reveal
this concealment, and to reveal the truth in the world, and to
illuminate wondrous aitzoas (advice, remedies) in the heart of
everyone, in such a way that one can save his soul from damnation,
that he won't chase after the vanities of the world, just, all his
effort will be to merit to a good end of eternal life.”).
***
The
Gathering on Rosh Hashana
[The
beginning is missing] - - He (R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m.) told me,
“if you see that there is something which our men say differently”
– then I should not learn from him! Just the holy Rebbe - - however
men of our standing, “if I say something which our men say
otherwise” – I should do like them! He requested of me.
What's
the matter?! Regarding Rosh Hashana. He (R' Yisroel) prayed in Meron,
he lived in Meron, and it was a time of dangers, there were all types
of danger – from hunger and from diseases, at that time there still
was no travel with taxis, one traveled with donkeys. And all the
roads, all the towns were surrounded with Turkish soldiers. And it
was dangerous, because the Turks, when they saw a man who had hands
and feet, a young man, they immediately took (-conscripted) him to
the army. They didn't ask him if - - absolutely nothing – if the
man had hands and feet… yeah.
And
further, this Nussun Keonig (a Breslover in Bney Brak) had letters,
he bought letters from R' Yisroel, and he found there a letter
written to Itsheh Meir'en (R' Yitzchok Meir Kurman o.b.m. a Breslover
from Poland) that he should come to the Land of Israel, and regarding
the tzion (-the tomb of Rabbainu) – he has a kabala (-tradition) –
one can be in Meron for Rosh Hashana, because it is one – the holy
Rebbe with Rabbi Shimon'en (bar Yochai)! (*Meaning to say; because he
had overly tremendous impediments getting to Uman, see there the
letter, printed in “Emoonas Uman,” Letters of R' Yisroel
Karduner, letter 32, “Therefore my mind is of the notion, my
precious brother, that you should put your steps to come to our holy
land, to the holy city of Tzfas may it be rebuild and reestablished.
And if Hashem desires (-Gd willing) we will find a proper match for
you, in such a way that you can engage in His service with clean and
pristine mind. And for Rosh Hashana you can also travel (to Uman)
sometimes, and this year which you cannot travel to Uman, bind
yourself to Rabbainu Hakadosh through the Divine Tana Rabbi Shimon
Bar Yoachai for there is great connection to their souls as it is
known of this by those who know kabala.”).
Nu,
I prayed here in Jerusalem, and Rabbi Yisroel passed away. I came to
go before Rosh Hashana, I wanted to travel to Meron for Rosh Hashana.
I spoke with our men, with R' Shlomo Wexler, with R' Naftoli Cohen,
and with R' Gedalia (Berger), with R' Meir Anshin, and they were all
– one! Rosh Hashana I should be here – with the men of Rebbe'n!
So that is what I did!
***
The
Story of The Rabbi and the Only Son
We
spoke about the story of the Rav and the Only Son (Legendary Tales,
Story 8). I heard from our men that this story of the Rav and the
Only Son is a story which actually took place, not just a s story of
Ancient Times. The holy Rebbe told over stories from Ancient Times
(*See Likutay Moharan 60:6), however this story – which is from
Ancient Times – this story actually took place! (*See Siach Sarfay
Kodesh, vol.2 article 319, that asserts that Rabbi Nussun met the
grieving father).
And
from this story this is much to learn, we see that the only son sat
in the attic, and was always engaged in Torah, and prayer, and
avoadas (serving) Hashem – always. Nu, he felt that something was
missing, which was happening to him, and he didn't know what, he
didn't know how to fill it. Two young men (-a term used for those
that study Torah all day) gave him advice that he should travel to
such and such a tzadik!
One
sees from this – that it is possible to be a lamdan (-skilled
scholar), the father was a Rav, and he was an only so by the Rav, and
he sat regularly on (-applying himself to) the Torah and Avoada
(-devotions). This is something of a hint – that one can be a
lamdan (-skilled scholar) and be of eminent lineage, and regularly
engage in Torah and avoada (devotions), and feel a deficiency –
that deficiency is the essential! When there is this deficiency, one
feels no taste in the Torah and in the avoada (devotions) – in
Torah and in prayer.
He
didn't feel any taste in the Torah, in prayer, he didn't see the
deficiency! Afterwards we see what the deficiency was – the young
men gave him advice that he should travel to the tzaddik!….
*
A
Factory of Judaism
And
further – I saw many people, they see that I speak always about R'
Yisroel'n, I tell over of his deeds, of his prayers, and of his
avoada (devotions). They ask me, “Did you learn anything –
Talmud? When did you learn? Was R' Yisroel a lamdan (-skilled
scholar)?”…. (*See Likutay Halachos, Laws of Rosh Chodesh 5:29,
brought down in the final part of Outpouring of the Soul, article 12,
explaining how Rachel represents the Torah, and this everyone
appreciates and finds valuable, whereas Leah represents the prayer,
which people fail to realize its prominence, and on the contrary they
belittle it. See there at length).
Nu,
the holy Rebbe said (The Days of Rabbi Nussun, article 38), “By me
it is a factory of Judaism!” There has yet to be heard such a
thing!
*
We
see from the beginning, from Rabbi Nussun'en. Rabbi Nussun was a gaon
(genius) oalum (-of international standing). And he was a son-in-law
of a gaon oalum. And he merited to draw close to many tzaddikim –
true ones! The Berdichiver Rav (-R' Levi Yitzchok) would delight
(“mishtashaya”) with him, he called him “my Nussun'ileh!” And
so too by many tzaddikim. By the Berdichiver Rav it is written, and
he was by other tzaddikim – I think by Rabbi Mordechai Neshchizer,
and he was by many other tzaddikim. (*See Ullim Litrufa, letter of
Rabbi Nussun from Thursday, Torah Portion of Va-yishlach 5595).
And
afterwards when the holy Rebbe settled in Breslov, and Breslov is not
far from Nemerov, and HY brought about circumstances that there lived
('sat') in Nemerov a Breslover chusid – R' Lipa, he was drawn close
before Rabbi Nussun'en. In short, (and) Rabbi Nussun heard his Shalom
Alaichem (-song for greeting the accompanying angels on the night of
Shabbos. See the story in Avunehu Barzel, article 6, at length). His
prayer! It doesn't say his 'speaking in learning' (-discussion in
Torah study)… He heard a Sholom Alaichem! And his prayer pleased
him!
In
short, he traveled from Nemerov to Rebbe'n, and the holy Rebbe told
him over three stories (*See Koachvay Ohr, Men of Rabbi Nachman,
article 3, and at length in Avunehu Barzel, the Drawing close of
Rabbi Nussun, article 6). Nu, and Rabbi Nussun, when he came close to
Rebbe'n, immediately he was – just the Rebbe!!
And
he merited that he was - - all the disciples abnegated themselves
before Rebbe'n, however, he was entirely something else!
Nu,
and his work was – in the life of Rabbainu and afterwards – his
main work was talking with people about avoadas (serving) Hashem!
That one must regularly only serve HY in truth! And he drew many
souls close to Rebbe'n. When he drew souls close to Hashem Yisburach,
there went missing from the settlement – from the settled world!
(*based on the Story of the Prayer Leader). And they were such holy
tzaddikim, such temimim (-wholehearted, sincere, unfeigned), what is
not to be seen in the world!
*
Because
so it actually is. Because the holy Rebbe said that, “by me it is a
factory of Judaism!” And it is fundamental for one must know that
one must search out Rebbe'n, every word, every Torah – one must
search.
One
mustn't think that his already a Breslover chusid, “I learn Likutay
Moharan” - that he can say, “I already know Likutay Moharan by
heart...” It is not contingent on any pilpulim (-elaborate
sequences of questions, answers, associations, and other logical
devices, developing an idea or concept, often considered specious not
dealing with the real simple crux of the issue), it is not contingent
on any honor of this world – this is something 'entirely'
different!
R'
Yisroel – when he found a poor boy, a plain (-simple, coarse) boy –
one can't speak with him at all in learning… and in him he gave his
entire – his mind, with his strength, with his avoada (devotions) –
everything.
Nu,
we see from here that this is something completely different from the
world. The holy Rebbe is entirely something different from the world
– the opposite of the world. Either the world – or the Rebbe!…
I
knew (“recognized”) lamdanim (-skilled scholars) in Tiberius, in
Tiberius there were big lamdanim, Torah greats, great ones of the
generation (“Gedolay Hador”). Nu, so he saw the Likutay Tefilos,
he did a favor – he looked in it. However, tht he should take it to
learn, to learn from it how to be a Jew?! He (himself) certainly not
– but even if he sees someone else that says a lot of prayers and
Psalms, he considers him to be an idler, for an am hu'uretz
(-ignorant person); he sees only such a type of am hu'uretz (ignorant
person)!…
His
Psalms - - like the Rav Alpandri (the eldest and most venerable sage
in the Middle East before the World War) said, “His Psalms surpass
your learning...” (*The Maharsha Alpandri o.b.m. was once in
Tiberius and he heard how R' Yisroel Ber Odesser said Psalms, and he
was very moved, and he asked about him in the yeshiva, and they told
him that they don't give him a full stipend because he doesn't keep
the schedule of the Talmudic studies, because he is preoccupied with
prayers, psalms, and hisbodidus and so forth. So Rav Alpandri told
them, as mentioned above, that his Psalms are greater than your
learning).
*
Yeah,
we see that we can laugh from the whole world! (*See The Days of
Rabbi Nussun, volume 2 article 32). And I myself was in the middle of
this - - one desires to be in the world and be a Breslover! - It
doesn't go! Either or, it is two opposites – this world with
Breslov is two opposites, this is in another world – this is this
world and this is that (“yener”) world (beyond). This is this
world (“oalum hazeh”) and this is the future world (“oalum
habu”)!
There
are those that say that one can be a Breslover chusid, and be - -
“maychaizoo <from the appearance> dihaye <of this> almu
<world> (*Based on Likutay Moharan 65:3)” with the desires of
this world, with the vanities of this world.
Yeah!
Also by us nebach (pitifully, unfortunately) – but the holy Rebbe
schleps us out! Certainly he doesn't let us sleep, he doesn't leave
us be in the mud, he washes us from this!
*
The
Prayer Leader
Oy
oy oy. The holy Rebbe told over to us the Story of the Prayer Leader
(“Baal Tefila” - #12 of the Legendary Tales), there was a story,
once there was a prayer leader - - and so forth, the entire story.
And over there are such dear – such holy words, and such a type of
holy wisdom.
“The
country of wealth” - the entire world is “the country of wealth!”
Not just some country! - This is “the country of wealth!” By the
world the main importance – the main honor – is money! The more
money one has – the more honor he is given.
Nu,
and the Prayer Leader – the men that he drew close to Hashem
Yisburach – by them a fast or a penance – the biggest penance –
was for them a taanug (exquisite delight) more than all the pleasures
of the world!9
And
the men of the Prayer Leader sat (-lived) outside of civilization.
Because civilization is the opposite from Rebbe'n! When one merits to
be drawn close to Rebbe'n, and one merits to eat his “holy food”
(*See the story; the food had the potency of giving one the full
awareness of the utter stench and degradation of money) – his holy
Toaroas (-teachings), this is the opposite from the civilized world!
In
the story it is written – that suddenly people went missing from
the country, there whereabouts wasn't known… yeah, they were lost!…
When one draws close to Rebbe'n he goes out of the civilized world,
he is lost!
Nu,
one must keep the first clause (“si-eef”) of the Shulchan Aruch:
“One shall not have shame from the mockers!” (*See also Likutay
Halachos, Laws of Meat in Milk 5:27 which cites this clause and
builds on it). One should not desist, one should not have shame from
the mockers! - - “Holy brazenness” - that one should stand
against the world!
Yeah,
one should have faith in Rebbe'n as much as possible, and listen and
do as he taught us, not to be moved (-astounded, intimidated) from
anyone! There are obstacles? This is for the best! The more difficult
it is, the heavier toll it is on one's well-being, and the more one
endures – all the better! (*See Likutay Moharan 185. And see
Likutay Halachos, Laws of Making Vessels Kosher, 4:18, “And this is
the fundamental of man's coming into this world, in order that he
should have tests and obstacles such as these from drawing close to
Hashem Yisburach, and he surmounts with the overwhelming force of his
holy desire, and breaks (through) all of them etc., and then all the
obstacles will be reversed for him to be great benefits, because
through the breaking of the impediments there are made afterwards,
vessels to receive the sweet light in step by step and in measure.
For it is impossible for one to receive except with a vessel, and
they are made in this world specifically through breaking
impediments, as is understood from his words o.b.m. elsewhere.”).
The
holy Rebbe said (Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article 318), “To
me it is difficult to draw close to” - “it is difficult to draw
close to me!” Because every time that we take the Likutay Moharan,
and we want to draw close to the holy Rebbe'n – there arise the
greatest obstacles from all sides. They don't let up (-leave him be),
either from the yaitzehr hura (-evil inclination), or from the bodily
desires, or from the world (-people) – Round and around (-all
around) “battles!”
Nu,
but the holy Rebbe is a geebor (-mighty warrior), and he teaches us
how to be geeboarim (-mighty warriors), how to hold up in battle.
*
[Continuing
about the Story of the Rav and the Only Son]
Oy
oy oy oy. And so every story, and every Torah, and every word from
holy Rebbe'n. The story of the Rav and the Only Son, how the son
begged the father – he wants to travel to the tzaddik. Nu, he was
an only son to his father, he didn't want to let him travel alone, so
the father detered him; it is not fitting for you, you are a bigger
lamdan (-skilled scholar) than him, of greater lineage than him, it
is not befitting for you to travel to this tzaddik! So he didn't
travel.
In
short, he saw that he serves HY, he learns and prays constantly, and
he feels nothing (-no “taam” - taste). So the young men told him
again the aitzu (-advice, remedy): Travel to the tzaddik so-and-so.
He went again to (his) father, and pleaded very much with him. In
short, the father saw that he is pleading with him very much, so he
said to him, “Nu, we will travel, but what then – we will see if
it is not orchestrated from Heaven (-go smoothly) we will return!
Nu,
they set out, and they came to a small bridge and a horse fell in
(-off into the water) the bridge, and the wagon turned over, and they
almost drowned. He (the father) said to him, “Nu, you see already
that it isn't from Heaven that we should travel to this tzaddik!”…
So
they returned. He applied himself further to the task of constant
Torah and prayer. However he felt that he was missing something, and
he didn't feel anything (“taam” - taste) in the Torah and prayer!
So he once again begged the (-his) father that he desires to travel,
he pleaded with him very much. The father set out with him, and (the
son) said to him that only if this will be something very dramatic we
should return, it is a sign that it (-the trip) is not from Heaven!…
*
One
can be a chuchum (-scholar) - - with all the desires of this world,
with the entire world - - and be a Breslover!…
I
knew (“recognized”) in Tiberius, binay (-members – committed
and living a lifestyle of) Torah, I grew up amongst them, and I
merited to see the difference between R' Yisroel'n and them. They
were; Men of prominence, smart (“chachumim”), and intelligent
(“nivoanim”), and men of action (“anshay maaseh”), and Heaven
fearing, and particular care (“midakdikim”) in keeping the
mitzvoas – and the honor with the “chaizoo (-facade) oalum hazeh
(of this world)” was found before them over the whole world! And
they were missing something?! On the contrary – they were missing
absolutely nothing! However, the holy Rebbe told over a story of the
Rav and the Only Son, that the only son was deficient! He was always
engaged in Torah and prayer, and there was missing from him a
deficiency, he didn't feel anything (“taam” - taste) in the Torah
and prayer! There were two young men (-the inference is that they
were also occupied in Torah study) – they gave him an aitzu
(-advice, remedy) that he should travel to the tzaddik!
From
this we see, that the entire lacking which he didn't feel anything in
the Torah and prayer, was because he needed to go to the tzaddik!
It
is possible to learn up the story – however one must give heart
(-pay attention), that the holy Rebbe had mercy on us and so he told
over to us the story – for us! So (/that) we learn out from the
story hints, that one can be an only son by a rav, and he can have a
room in the attic, and he can be regularly engaged in Torah and
prayer, and the only son felt a lacking – he didn't feel anything
(“taam” - taste) in the Torah and prayer! And he searched for an
aitzu (advice, remedy) how he can fill the deficiency, he asked two
young men (-see above), and they gave him an aitzu (advice, remedy)
that he should travel to the tzaddik!
From
this we see – he had searched, so HY brought about circumstances
that two young men told him that he should travel to the tzaddik.
However when one is engaged in Torah and prayer, and doesn't feel the
deficiency, on the contrary – one feels just that he is great and
great and great - - (* See Likutay Halachos, Yoreh Dayah – Laws of
Orla 5:7, “And in truth, they are contingent one upon the other,
because each person, according to how much he strives to abnegate
himself and to feel with simplicity his lowliness, to feel the pain
of his sins and defects, and his utter alienation from Hashem
Yisburach and the Torah etc., so too he merits to draw himself close
the true tzaddik. Because certainly one who feels his lowliness and
inferiority, and desires to have mercy on his soul, to be saved from
eternal death and suffering, and to merit to eternal life, certainly
he will not look (-pay attention) upon any impediment, which are
mostly if not all due to honor, that one fears that they will mock
him and belittle etc.. And even other types of obstacles, from one's
wife, and father-in-law, and one's father etc., all of them are
completely nullified by someone who feels a little of his lowliness
and inferiority, and he sees and understands in himself the manner of
his standing and position in this world, and to where his conduct
veered etc.. And certainly he will endeavor with all his strength to
draw himself close to someone who can engage in his healing, and
through this he will draw close to the truth, which is the true
tzaddik. And the more he draws close to the true tzaddik, so too he
will feel his lowliness more, because the main abnegation of
haughtiness (-ego) is through the tzaddik etc..”).
The
only son would search regularly, and HY would always bring about for
him – the first time the horse fell (from) the bridge, and the
second time the axles broke on him, and the second time, the only son
said, we cannot – only if it is something distinctive. So he
(-they) traveled , and he (-they) were in an lodging in some village,
and there they found some sort of merchant. Nu, a merchant should
speak of tzaddikim?! A merchant should speak of commerce! Nu, they
spoke with him, and they came to speak of tzaddikim – they didn't
tell over to the merchant that they were traveling to this tzaddik,
they just plainly spoke of tzaddikim. And he began speaking of this
tzaddik – they didn't say that they were traveling to him [and the
merchant said that he was there and he (the tzaddik) had committed] a
transgression! He is frivolous (“light” - without fear of
Heaven)! He (the Rav) said to his son, “Nu, do you see?! Do you see
already?! The merchant did not [intend to speak of this tzaddik,
just] speaking innocently!… Nu, in short, they returned, and the
son passed away!
Because
if one does not surmount over all the types of obstacles, he is
nebach (pitifully, unfortunately) dead in his life – he is one who
died! One can be great, and have a name (-reputation, acclaim) in the
world, and he is dead!
*
And
similarly every story, with every seecha (talk, discourse), when one
does not look with truth – from yearning, like the only son – he
yearned to fill his deficiency – he felt nothing (no “taam” -
taste) in Torah and in prayer!
Nu,
when one looks, one finds. One can look and look and look, but when
it comes to it - - in truth, when one ponders, it is possible that
the merchant was not speaking innocently!….
The
Truth Is Always Victorious
And
I – such a small nefesh (soul) like me, a child of seventeen years,
a plain (/coarse) lad, the plainest of the entire yeshiva… I was an
only son [“a one son”] - a “one” of a kind… and this one
(only) son, this child, it became of this such, such a type of kidush
(-sanctification of) Hashem, supernaturally.
And
their head – the head of the misnagdim (-antagonists), he took me,
like a friend, he went with me on walks outside the city, and he
injected me with such poison of opposition, that I was made up that I
would not be a Breslover! I will learn the books – (but) I will not
be any (sort of) Breslover…
Nu,
so I was such a small nefesh (soul), how was it that there was such a
change by me – to abandon the world, to nullify such scholars?! It
can be seen from this that the truth is always victorious! The truth
is such a sharp (/strong) thing, such, the truth is victorious
always! (*See Likutay Halachos, Orach Chaim, Laws of Blessing on
Sitings and Specific Blessings 5:2, “It comes out, someone who
looks to the real truth, and goes in the way of the truth, and
strives and toils always to reach (/perceive) the point of truth,
certainly he isn't afraid of evil eye, because what can a man do to
him, being that his intention is for the real truth, which through
this he is always victorious.”).
Afterwards,
when I had made up that I will not be a Breslover, but my heart
pained me, it was by me “woe onto me from “yoatzree” <my
Creator>, woe onto me from “yitzree” <my (evil)
inclination> (Brachos 61).” He inserted in poison, and I wanted
– however I had battles. Even when I had already made up that I
will not be a Breslover, but it wasn't willingly.
I
told over to R' Yisroel'n that he had told me such and such, HY had
mercy on me and R' Yisroel spoke with me such words – that from all
the poison there was absolutely nothing! I went back to being the
child that I had been prior, he had extracted from me all the poison.
*
And
this is all lessons for us, because even today when there aren't such
big misnagdim (antagonists) like in the past, nu, but there still
remain, there still …
The
world, scholars, the greats – even if they look inside a holy book
– but the “chaizoo <facade> dihaye <of this> alma
<world>” clouds over!
And
I – even though HY had mercy on me so that I came to the holy
Rebbe, but what I need to be and what I need to see – it is still
not this! We need still to pray more and more and more…
Nu,
we can make peace – I am a Breslover, but I needn't yet reject the
entire world, one needs money… this is the story of the “country
of wealth” - - “he speaks against the entire world!” “What
are you saying here?!”… (*From the Story of the Prayer Leader).
*
Rabbi
Nussun was born in a house of Torah and greatness. His father-in-law
(-the gaon Rabbi Duvid Tzvi Aurbach o.b.m. Chief Justice of the Court
of the Holy Congregation of Sharigrad, Kraminitz, Muhuluv, and their
surrounding (territory much larger than the current state of Israel))
was a lamdan (-skilled scholar), a talmid chuchum (-knowledgeable
accomplished Torah scholar), and Heaven fearing, just he was a Litvak
(- of Lithuania – insinuating that he was an antagonist to
chasidus). And Rabbi Nussun was also a Litvak, he was a great
(“gudol” - of great standing), and he was a son-in-law by a gaon
(-genius), a tzaddik. Nu, this Rabbi Nussun saw the Rebbe'n, so he
abandoned the entire world and remained by Rebbe'n!
*
Nu,
and the stories, and also in the Toaroas – every Torah must be
always new! What does new mean? One finds new light, new lessons! The
essential learning is to bring us to what the holy Rebbe wants to
bring us to – the true tachlis (-purpose, end).
By
the world, they look upon such a person like a meshugana (-crazy) - -
the future world? There is time till the Future World! Now?! One goes
into the synagogue, one puts on tzitzis and tefilin - - but the
Future World?!… But I knew (“recognized”) a Jew that by him the
main thing – his entire life – always – (every) word that he
said – everything was just for the tachlis (-ultimate purpose,
end)….
And
the entire world laughs at this. However, the holy Rebbe warned that
one must make a designated time every day – a way for every Jew –
from small to big – hisbodidus! One must go away to a place where
there are no people there, and there one speaks out his heart before
Hashem Yisburach'n, and beseech everything he needs. First one must
beseech for the fundamental tachlis (-purpose, end), and afterwards
comes money - - yeah.
And
the holy Rebbe laughs at the entire world – that bread with
cucumbers is good food!… (*Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman,
article 528).
And
furthermore there is a seecha (-a talk, discourse), the holy Rebbe
said (Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 250), “What is the whole
fear? That he won't have any parnasa (-livelihood) – that he won't
have any bread to eat, and he will die? Nu, what is the big deal?
Anyways one dies!” If – this way one lives forever, and this way
one dies - - but either way one must die! Nu, so what will it be
then?!
[missing
a little] - - “Black as a raven” - his face is black (*See
Likutay Moharan 15:5, “And our sages said, 'someone who blackens
his face like a raven, and someone who makes himself cruel to his
children like a raven', and this is the aspect of 'black as a raven'
etc., and through this one merits to the aspect of the hidden Torah,
for the secrets of the Torah one merits to them through mesiras
nefesh, that he blackens his face like a raven etc..”)! “Black as
a raven” - and we go on further… but the “black as a raven”
one must feel well! One must properly see to it that his face should
be black - - despise the desires of this world!
*
The
Terrible Suffering of His Youth
Such
poverty that I had, isn't in the world! That there is not one piece
of bread?! And I saw this with my own eyes! I saw the pain of the
children that they had from hunger – I am embarrassed until today
even to speak of it. I live in a desert?! I live amongst people!
Jews, merciful people! However, with me HY dealt that all the gates
were closed, I was like in a sea, or in a desert, where there is not
any - -
I
am by nature extremely shy, however, when I see such a type of hunger
– I wanted to take action, so that I can receive a piece of bread.
There
was in Maya She-urim (-an ultra orthodox neighborhood in Jerusalem) a
Jew, he was a talmid chuchum (-Torah scholar), a learner, a Litvak (-
of Lithuania - not chasidic), he would always beg alms, and he would
give to every poor person – when one came to him he would give him
something. In short, it was on a Friday, it was already after midday,
and there wasn't anything at all in the house! Absolutely nothing! No
fish, and no challa (-bread) – absolutely nothing! In short, I was
worried that Heaven forbid it would remain like this for Shabbos. In
short, I strengthened myself, I went down to the shteiblach (-group
of different prayer rooms), I lived in Maya She'urim, I entered the
shteiblach of Maya She'urim. He would pray Mincha Gedola (-the
earliest time one can pray the afternoon services – a half hour
after midday), he was always to be found in the shteiblach of Maya
She'urim. And he was sitting with another Jew, a great (“gadol”)
of Jerusalem, and they would both be speaking in learning. In short,
he was sitting with him and speaking with him. In short, I went to
him, I told over to him - - HY had mercy on me, and he felt a bit
that this is a correct (-true and worthy) matter - - In Jerusalem it
was possible for a poor person who has “kul toov” (“everything
good”) and when he wants that they should give him money, he says
that he doesn't have (the necessities) for Shabbos… and the
opposite, there comes someone who says on Friday after midday that he
still has absolutely nothing, then he is (-considered to be) such a
type of beggar…. - HY had mercy on me, and he recognized something
in my speech – in my face – that this is a correct (-true and
worthy) matter. Nu, so he went with me, near my house (there), there
is a makoalet (-small grocery store), a store, and he spoke with a
loud bellowing voice… and he said to the seller, the owner of the
store, “Give him a rotel [-a coin which would buy approximately
three kilograms of] flour! And afterwards he went with me to the
fish, the store of the fish – my house was on top of the store. In
short, he went to the owner and bellowed at him, “Give him a
fish'el!” And I heard, and it was darkness on my eyes, I was
ashamed – Friday after midday – and he says, “give his a
fish'el,” “give him flour.”….
And
this is now all for the good! At the time it happened I didn't want
it, “not them and not their reward (Brachos 5b – regarding
accepting suffering)!” Such a type of situation (-plight).
*
And
furthermore – there was one person, he had a store in Maya
She'urim. In short, he was a merchant, he was a mikurev (-someone
drawn close, a chusid), of the Polish mikuravim (-plural). He would
go in the synagogues in the morning and would make money (-collect
charity), and he never once gave me. And even though I told him once,
he made himself as if he didn't know, and nothing at all came of
this.
In
short, it was in middle of the week, on a night that [the children]
cried – a piece of bread. In short, I went down to the shtieblach
(-group of different prayer rooms), outside of the shteiblach he was
standing, so I went over to him, and said to him, “Do a mitzva –
give me epess (-something - anything at all) a few pennies! I need
epess for bread!” - - -
Nu,
when one doesn't have the merit, Heaven forbid - - but by me it was
like that, all the gates closed! HY wanted it that way, so that I
should experience (“feel”) such a taste. It could be that I was
exonerated from death, harsh decrees (*that HY commuted this
suffering from a more severe fate) – it was for the best. However
at the time it happened, it was by me “katztee <disgusted>
bicha'yee <with my life> (Genesis 27:46 and elsewhere).”….
*
[Continuing
the story of erev Shabbos]
In
short, by me every second was like a year, I wanted it to be as fast
as possible - - on the way he went into a textile merchant and spoke
with him, I thought that he would come out right away, but he was in
no hurry to leave, and I stood and waited, and he stayed with him –
I know how long (-for some time) – and spoke. And afterwards he
went with me, he went into the store, and he said to his wife –
when he was on the street then she was in the store, a store after
all needs a person (-attendant), so she was in the store. He said,
“Give Yisroel Ber'n a penny, he needs it urgently!”….
He
couldn't go over to the register where the pennies were kept and
taken a penny? He said out loud with amplitude, “Give Yisroel
Ber'n!”…
That
is what HY dealt me, and this was for great benefit in this (world)
and in the next (world)!
I
saw others who were experts in Jerusalem, by the rich, the wealthy,
and they went collecting money, and they lived a life of
expansiveness, yeah. One makes a wedding for (one's) child and has
money. And by me it was – everything locked! I was one person who
was not successful in this…
Oy
oy oy. This was already in our time, in recent times, in the last few
years…
[Recounts
of a time when he worked]
-
- I had a bakery in Tiberius, I thought that I was in (the servitude
of) Egypt! The Jews were redeemed from there, but I entered Egypt
with no way out… I stood by the oven, by the bread making - - I was
not able to get out of there!….
The
entire town - - there would come people of Jerusalem, they knew of
me, they knew that he is a Breslover. Nu, a bakery… the entire town
worried where to get money - “Yisroel Ber is a baker!” “Odesser's
Bakery,” (he has) the entire world's money… they are (/were)
beggars, they are sunken in “how to get money,” and Yisroel Ber –
the money goes to Yisroel Ber's, and (-whereas) we are Yeshiva men
(-poor students), beggars…
I
stood by the oven, by the bread - - and I demanded from myself, “What
have I come to?!”” I had such a R' Yisroel'n, and I was engaged
in avoadas (-service of) Hashem, and they were always laughing at me,
and suddenly I enter into such an exile of Egypt, in such a type of
exile, “bakery,” I didn't have any day or any night, I was
alienated from Torah and prayer. How can I get out of this?! [-the
end is missing. T.n. someone told me once, that Saba had helped
someone destitute start up the bakery, procuring the necessary loans
and everything, and then the person just left, leaving the whole
thing on Saba...] - -
*
Mesiras
Nefesh (-self sacrifice) For the Printing
There
was a Jew who sold beverages. He sold wine, whiskey, all types of
beverages. His name was Rabbi Yom Tov Zlotnik. He was famous, a
litvak (-of the school of Lithuania which promoted talmud study over
chasidus). Except he drew close with such a burning heart – that he
couldn't be held to the store, with the (-his) family, with the
(-his) children, just the Rebbe, just the Rebbe! And he would print,
in those times there still was not any “Keren Hadfasa” <”Printing
Fund” of Breslov>, and there still was no one to print for,
however he yearned to print, to print, and to print. In short, he
took to printing Restoration of the Soul, Outpouring of the Soul. And
one man alone can not give all he owns for the printing, however, I
knew that he had in him such a burning heart – such – for
Rebbe'n. He had a store, and he had somewhere a room, a small room,
that he used to learn in there the books of Rebbe'ns, I used to go
into the room.
And
I had a large home (-family), and by me, at home, there was not a
piece of bread, the children went about like that. And I went to R'
Yom Tov Zlotnick, nu, if I tell him, then it implies that I came to
R' Yom Tov so that he give me money – one needs bread. So I didn't
speak of it….
He
was astute, and he understood that my entire goal with this was only
to merit to draw the world close to Rebbe'n, it is necessary to print
the Rebbe'ns books. I wanted to strengthen this Jew so that he holds
strong in this. In short, it was Friday after midday, I girded myself
with brazenness, with determination. The way it is, I am bashful to
beg alms by myself.. In short, I went inside the store, the guy was
confounded, he sees such a type of expression, with such fervor, with
such determination, he recognized. In short, they gave me. In short,
I went from one store to another, I saw that HY was showing me
success and they were giving me. And it that year (-in Yiddish this
can refer to the present time) in that time – I made seventy-five
pennies! Nu, I went – not for bread – not for me! I went so that
there should be encouragement for this young man. Yeah, I went with
seventy five pennies and gave it to him in the hand! Absolutely
nothing, not one penny! Friday before nightfall, I gave him directly
so that he would have for the printing… (Someone asks: “It was a
lot of money?”) Ah! Today it has absolutely no estimation (- or the
opposite – value) – there is absolutely no comprehension of what
money was then! I wondered at myself, but I went with such fervor,
like the Burgher (*Story #10 of a Burgher and a Pauper, see there)….
*
Nu,
one can think – one can suppose that I am saying idle chatter,
bygone stories; bread, money. No! These are all precious ways, this
is not in the world, this is just through the power of the holy
Rebbe'n that can do such things – that there can be a poor person
who makes (-collects) seventy five pennies and goes directly giving
it over so that he will have encouragement to print….
And
this is not naturally possible, this is supernatural, above space,
such a type of thing. And this is only with the power of the holy
Rebbe'n can one do such a thing, can such a R' Yisroel be made, and
can make such a poor man – he was crazy and went from one store to
another, and they were confounded by him, and they gave him nice
donations - - and he was successful, he made seventy five pennies in
such a short time!….
***
The
Main Thing is to Draw Oneself To the Tachlis
-
- And similarly when one does not give heart (-pay attention), one
doesn't give heart to the holy Rebbe'ns words, one doesn't give heart
to what we came to the world for, for what we live in the world. And
one must draw himself very much – like the holy Rebbe taught us,
that the main thing is just for the tachlis (-ultimate purpose, end)
– is just Torah and prayer… (*Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 51;
Story #12 of a Prayer Leader, see there his creed and exhortations).
And
by the world a bonafide craziness (*Story of the Prayer Leader) –
he doesn't search at all?! He searches just for the Future World,
just learning, just praying, and this world he lets go completely!…
This I saw in actuality only by R' Yisroel'n!
The
way of the world is – even he that understands that the main thing
is not money, but even still, one needs money… yeah. And similarly
honor, and everything, and one makes peace – one makes peace with
all the bodily desires. Just the holy Rebbe! [-who teaches us the way
of the true tachlis]! (*Likutay Halachos, Orach Chaim, Laws of
Passover 7:9-10, “And everyone knows that there is no tachlis in
the world, except to adhere to avoadas (the service of) Hashem all
the days of one's life, but few are those who know true aitzoas
(advice, remedies) how to veer away and retract from the darkness,
and they don't know recourse for their souls how to behave in such a
way as to merit to be a truly kosher person etc., and in truth it is
impossible to receive any aitza (advice, remedy) except from the true
tzaddikim of the generation etc..).
*
[More
regarding Likutay Tefilos]
There
is such a Likutay Tefilos - - in Tiberius, all the young men
(-connotation of those who study all day in Kollel), all the
misnagdim (-antagonists), they didn't want even to touch – a
Likutay Tefilos?! Even til today! Until this very day! Likutay
Tefilos?! What is this – they didn't institute for us any prayers?!
In the morning, Mincha (-afternoon service), Maariv (-night
service)?! Why (-what is there to) Likutay Tefilos?! Who else can say
such Likutay Tefilos?!… Take a look epes (-something – we have
here) a mishuganer (-crazy person), he says regularly Tefilos
(-prayers)!… Or – hisbodidus! He goes in a room, or in a field,
and he goes and has hisbodidus! And goes beseeching HY for parnasa
(-livelihood)! And he goes beseeching HY! He does hisbodidus?! - By
the world this is a bonafide craziness!… (*Likutay Halachos, Orach
Chaim, Laws of Rosh Chodesh 5:15, brought down in Outpouring of the
Soul, final section, article 6).
*
[Continuing
regarding the Prayer Leader]
The
holy Rebbe (-the Prayer Leader of Story #12) goes about in the world,
and also by us – as long as we are not privy to the power of the
holy Rebbe'n – that this world is absolutely nothing, the main
thing is only the tachlis, the main thing is just Torah and prayer –
one can waste the (-his) years, make peace, and be a Breslover…
However [one must be] such a Breslover – that the holy Rebbe tells
over in the story of the Prayer Leader – that he spoke with the
poor men, he spoke of the tachlis. When someone wanted to draw
himself close (-Saba first uses the Yiddish word for bonding) to him,
to bind (-then Saba uses the Hebrew word of divaikus) himself to him
– he would immediately (him) – that is what is written –
immediately he would take him to his place that he had outside of
civilization! This infers that civilization with Rebbe'n – do not
agree! They are not congruous!….
As
long as we (we) don't know the pure truth, and one is a smart guy
(-relies on his smarts), and one desires to be – one desires to
have face (-presence, status, interaction) in this world, one desires
to have money, one desires to have “yaishoos” (-substance,
entity) – a “yaish” (-entity) in this world – as long as one
does not run to the holy Rebbe'n, one does not give himself over to
the holy Rebbe'n, as he taught us! - - He taught us the opposite from
this world! Like the holy Rebbe speaks of this (Story of the Prayer
Leader), that suddenly men went missing from the country, and it
wasn't known where they were, by this one a son was missing, by this
one a son-in-law was missing… and the Country of Wealth wondered –
that there is found a man who speaks such things?! Who speaks such
things against their faith, that money is absolutely nothing, just
Torah and prayer! So they said that this must be the Prayer Leader!…
And
similarly the men of the King, the ten men of the King who went lost
by (-at the time of) the storm wind, and they began seek and find
each other, they saw, they searched each other out – here they
found the Geebor (-mighty warrior), here they found this, here the
Advisor, each time the group became bigger, they found each other.
They saw that HY had mercy, that they found each other, once again
they found each other. They were – this one here, this one there,
and they didn't know one from the second, and they found each other!
Another one, another one, another one, they found each other! So they
said, that this is in the merit of the kosher Prayer Leader!
Everyone, everyone said – the Prayer Leader! And he spoke with the
Country of Wealth! Not the Geebor (-mighty warrior), and not anyone,
just the Prayer Leader!
*
[Rabbi
Nachman's Stories]
And
similarly, that which we see in the first story, what the holy Rebbe
said, “On the way I told over a story, which whoever heard it had a
thought of repentance!” This is the introduction, this is the first
story, the beginning of all the stories, the introduction! This the
holy Rebbe gives us to hear – whoever has ears, that every story –
not just that story – in every story there are complete structures,
there are many concepts, it goes out from this and goes into this,
this is all – whoever hears this, has a thought of repentance!
(*See more about this in the introduction to the Stories).
This
the holy Rebbe gives us to hear, that it isn't just to be read –
one must inculcate it in the mind! One must look well at what is
going on here! What is being said here! And similarly in every Torah
(-holy teaching), and similarly in every prayer!
***
From
where did there become a R' Yisroel (Karduner)?! Not from the Torah
and the prayers?! And this is (true) till today! It is not the way to
say, “Once there was a R' Yisroel,” “Once the world was frum
(-pious, devout, Heaven fearing),” “Today it is like this!” - -
No!! It was once – and it “is”!! There was a R' Yisroel – and
there is!! There was a Rebbe, there was a Prayer Leader - - by the
Legendary Tales it is written, “Once there was a Prayer Leader,”
however, the Prayer Leader was – and he is!!! And he deals with us!
And he teaches us! And he takes care (/worries, concerned) of us!
(*Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article 225, “And in the night
before his passing away, he said, “What do you have to worry, being
that I go before you, and what, if the souls that didn't know me at
all, they await my rectifications, all the more so you etc.. And so
too even those that didn't merit to know Rabbainu o.b.m. in his life,
when they come to his holy tomb, and support themselves upon him
(/it), and they learn his holy books, and they accustom themselves to
go in his holy ways which are enumerated in his holy books, certainly
they have what to rely upon, fortunate are they, fortunate is their
lot, and they will not err all who take refuge in him, because he
already revealed his volition in many expressions, explicitly and in
hints, that everything he does with us isn't only for us, but for
those that are here and those that are not here etc..).
By
the world this is mamash (-really) a Purim play – the Likutay
Moharan, with Likutay Tefilos – if they see someone saying a lot of
Likutay Tefilos and crying before Hashem Yisburach; - Nu nu, this is
a coarse young… this is an ignoramus… he says so much Likutay
Tefilos…
Nu,
I have actually seen precious souls, however, the way R' Yisroel said
Likutay Tefilos – and the Shabbos that I saw by him, and the
Succos, with the Shavuos, and the melodies, with the joy - - it was
something unique in the world! He was “The work of My hands for
glorification (Isaiah 60:21 – see earlier where Saba said that R'
Shlomo Wexler said of R' Yisroel the verse 49:3)!” HY's handiwork!
The work of Hashem! The finger of G-d (Exodus 8:15, and see Psalms
8:4 and the Malbim there, that “finger” denotes direct
attribution to HY whereas hand can refer to what was brought about by
His Will even indirectly)!!!
***
I
Won and Will Win
We
see how the truth is victorious! How much the world is far from
Rebbe'n, from hisbodidus, Likutay Tefilos - - so we would need to be
abnegated before the world! And if all the greats (“gedolim”),
all the greats of the generation (“gedolay hador”) are distant
from this, they laugh at this – we would need to be abnegated! -
The more time passes by, we would need to desist! And in the end we
see that the philosophers, the great men of the world, the men of
science - - they needed to nullify the Rebbe completely! Because he
was so much against learning wisdoms and languages, even of the
greats of Israel that speak of chakeeroas (-philosophical questions
and scientific research)! (*Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article
407). - They needed to decided amongst themselves that he has
absolutely no part in any wisdoms and any intelligence, and even not
to speak of him whatsoever! And in the end they were abnegated –
after such words, after such a type of opposition that the holy Rebbe
opposed them – they are abnegated!
*
(Speaking
about a famous Israeli politician whom Saba drew close to Rabbainu)
He
once told me, that once he entered amongst big professors, and they
sat together and they spoke, they spoke about the holy Rebbe'n, and
he came in and he heard how they say, “The Rebbe says like this.”
He asked, “Who is the Rebbe?” One of them answered him – he was
a big professor, a big philosopher, in short, he (the professor) said
to him, “Do not mix in between us, you are an am hu'uretz
(ignoramus), you know absolutely nothing! If you don't know that stam
(-plain) “Rebbe” is the Rebbe Rabbi Nachman – you are an am
hu'uretz (-ignoramus)!…
And
similarly – this is by them! And even by us, by the frum (-Heaven
fearing, pious), the yeshivas – who speaks of the Litvisheh (-of
the school of Lithuania, where the study of Talmud was favored over
Chasidus) Yeshivas – there are great men, greats (-leaders) of the
generation (“gedoalay hador”), who made books of mussar
(-ethics). Nu, today they wonder, what is this?! Why epes (-all of
the sudden) such a type of commotion?!… What is this?! Likutay
Tefilos?! Hisbodidus?!
The
holy Rebbe said however, “I finished <gumartee> and I will
finish <vu-egmor> (*Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article
229)!” - So they are nullified! They are nullified! They see epes
(-somehow/something of) the finger of <etzba> Eloakim <G-d>!
-
Where does one get epes (-somehow, something) the money to print?!
Where does one get (-the merit?) to sell the books?!…
*
-
And I merited to see with my own eyes the power of truth! How R'
Yisroel was victorious over the whole world! He had such a holy mind,
that by him in (his) heart and in his mind it was by him something to
laugh at – it had absolutely no value by him, no importance, the
entire world! (*See The Days of Rabbi Nussun, volume 2, article 32,
“Did not Rabbainu say that you laugh from the whole world etc..”).
He didn't announce this – he didn't say that he is such and such!
But by him, he knew what goes on epes (-something/somehow) in the
world!
And
he saw – he felt this, that this will conquer the world! Even
though we are now found in exile, to be mocked and scorned, however
this is such a type of power that will win over the entire world!
From R' Yisroel I received this – not that he told it to me, just
that HY helped me to understand it, to recognize, one hundred
percent, without any doubts!
The
more one believes in the holy Rebbe'n, and listens to him, and
doesn't look at the world - -
***
The
Holiness of the Bris (circumcision)
(Someone
asks, “Did R' Yisroel speak about guarding the bris, from matters
of holiness?”) What are you saying?! He spoke – with holiness and
with purity, and by implication. And since it was in hints – it was
set inside the heart! It was such a thing that it was – not open,
just “concealed and revealed <susoom vigalya>,” with such a
type of holiness and purity!
One
can become disheartened, when one knows that he is distant from this.
His words were – from one side he let me know my shortcomings, the
alienation, - and in this was included such a type of encouragement!
Such!
This
is even stronger than when speaks (outright). When one speaks in
hints, it is stronger than when one speaks openly, it has a
tremendous influence! The Rebbe said in the Legendary Tales, that the
more something is hidden the greater power it has! (*Words of Rabbi
Nachman, end of article 151, “He said regarding the Legendary Tales
which he told over, that it would be better not to reveal of them any
hint to what they allude to, because when the matter is hidden, it is
possible to effect more with it of what is needed, however he is
forced sometimes to reveal some hint in the world (-miniscule) in
order that it should be known that they contain hidden matters.”).
He said that once in a while he says some hints of the stories from
the verses, this is only in order to make known that this is not any
plain (“stam”) story. Similarly with this as well, lihavdil (“to
separate” - not to equate the two parallels), Heaven forbid – it
isn't any example, but so it is – the holy Rebbe said that when it
is concealed it has yet a greater strength!
I
remember that this shined (Heb: in me), I understood what he was
saying. It was concealed – and it screamed with koalay koaloas
(-calling of calls – thundering yelling and screaming)….
Behold
this is the essential agenda of the Rebbe'n! You ask about such a
thing which the entire enterprise is about?! The entire fundamental
of Rebbe'ns concern is about this – we should merit to it! (*See
Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 115, “The main test of every person
in this world is in this desire etc..”).
By
the world, even by the frum (-Heaven fearing, devout) world, it is –
if the Master of the World created the world like this, one needs to
behave like this… the holy Rebbe said, in the story of the Prayer
Leader, of the group that made the queen's daughter their king, they
were already so consumed in the taava (-promiscuity), that it was by
them like something permissible, that this is the way the world is!
(*See more on this vein in Likutay Halachos, Laws of Prayer, which is
based on this story, 4:5). Only the holy Rebbe – by him one learns
how to be a Jew, how one must behave with holiness and with purity,
and how one must beseech HY for this! And how one must have mesiras
nefesh (-self sacrifice) for this! That one should merit to know, to
have daas (-realization of knowledge), intelligence (“saichel”) -
- this is a givaldig (-outstanding) wisdom, a givaldig (-outstanding)
daas (-realization of knowledge), - that one should merit to this in
this world, to live as one should.
For
example – I was a neighbor of R' Yisroel, I saw his life, I saw –
it is not possible to relate – he had two rooms, a room in which
they ate, and he slept there. And she had another room, and he never
had anything to do with her room….
It
wasn't such a life like the world lives – actually kosher, just
what then, like this – one doesn't give heart (-pay attention). He
lived a life of holiness and purity, with eating, with drinking, with
praying, and with everything! And behold this is the main thing –
the matter of guarding the bris (-circumcision), this is more than
everything! (*See Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman. Article 601, “The
main virtue (“maala,” height) of the tzaddik is according to his
holiness in this desire etc..”).
*
Thank
G-d – I merited to always be together with R' Yisroel'n, out of
great love. I loved hearing every word, every second that I was with
him, I had (sheer?) profit. It was an outpouring of bounty
(“hashpu'u”/influence), a type of holy outpouring of bounty
(/influence) to be there alone with him.
I
saw in what his mind was always set, one doesn't see such a thing in
the world! Not for nothing did I – thank G-d (-said in Yiddish),
thank G-d (-said in Hebrew), I didn't look at (-pay attention to)
anyone! (Not even) At the biggest! I suffered everything, and I
endured! How is it?! I saw such – the truth, such a type of truth!
And
by the world, even by the frum (-Heaven fearing, devout) world,
chasidim, this is a craziness - - just the Future World?! Just the
tachlis (-ultimate purpose, end)?!… And what about money?! And what
about the world?!
All
the seventy years one must travel, search, so that one should find -
- the holy Rebbe said this – that one must see such a man, such
(*See Likutay Halachos, Laws of Messengers 5:6, that there is always
someone or group that can loyally impart the holy ways of the true
tzaddik). And HY helped me, I merited, out of truth, out of mesiras
nefesh (-self sacrifice), out of such a type of lowliness, out of
such a type of mockery and disgrace, (to/like) what is not at all
possible to fathom in the mind!
***
The
Kloyz (Big synagogue in Uman near the holy tomb)
I
saw in The Days of Rabbi Nussun (volume 1, from article 107 onwards),
how Rabbi Nussun saw that the more years passed from the Rebbe'ns
passing away, the bigger the oalum (“world”- the crowd, the
people). There was a place where to pray, in the city there was built
some sort of new synagogue, and when they came on the pilgrimage of
Rosh Hashana they (-the locals) requested them to pray in this
synagogue, so they prayed there for some years. Every year there were
more souls, so they couldn't fit inside this synagogue, so they had
to rent. In any event, every time there were more, the more
persecution (“chasing”) – the ever more (-people), as it is
written (Exodus 1:7), “And the Children of Israel had offspring,
and they multiplies, and they became increasingly bigger, and they
became massive (/powerful) very very much (-see there verse 12, the
more they were persecuted the more they grew),” the more they were
persecuted (“chased”)…. One soul that draws close – is more
than the whole world, than thousands, than thousands (*See Likutay
Halachos, Laws of Procreation 5:11). One man that draws close to
Rebbe'n is more – is a novelty in the world, it is such… And the
holy Rebbe took his souls, such souls, such souls that stood up
against the entire world! The Prayer Leader, they were a few men, the
Prayer Leader with his few men, they were the world!…
I
heard from a few – R' Naftoli (Cohen), R' Shlomo (Wexler), R'
Nussun Bittelmacher - - in the year 5595 (-1835) it was then when
there was the great opposition, that they rose up, Heaven have mercy,
to destroy, to kill, and to wipe out. It was in the year 5595
(-1835), and it continued that way till the year '98 (-1838), that
is, three years.
In
'92 (-1832) Rabbi Nussun saw that every year the oalum (-the people)
was bigger, and there was no where to pray, each time they prayed in
a bigger place. And there was found someone, a wealthy man, who gave
over a large place, and provided tables with water. In any event,
Rabbi Nussun saw that they were transient – Rosh Hashana, so HY put
inside his heart a desire, a strong will that he would build a
synagogue! Nu, Rabbi Nussun had no money, and it was very remote to
attain so much money – to buy a place and build a synagogue –
where does one get this?! There were a few wealthy people, but these
wealthy men; first of all – the need to merit, and further – it
costs a lot of money, nu, a wealthy man, if he gives a nice donation
it is very nice, however, that he should give over a portion of his
wealth for such a synagogue?! In any event, Rabbi Nussun strengthened
himself in this, and he merited, and he bought a place, and began to
build, and the Master of the World performed epes
(-somehow/something) supernatural miracles!
When
he bought the place, and began to build, he erected the pillars,
there was a commotion, this was 5594 (1834). It started in '92
(-1832), '93, '94, and in '95 (-1835) there began such a type of
opposition, '95 there was already the synagogue, the synagogue
already stood. In the few years which the the synagogue was built,
there was by the misnagdim (-antagonists) such… there were such
miracles. Because the misnagdim (they) wanted to stone Rabbi Nussun!
What – he wants epes (somehow/something) to make such a type of
thing?! Rosh Hashana by a tzion (-holy tomb)?! To come to a tzion
(-holy tomb)?! The opposition on Breslov! - - -
*
-
- - Oy oy oy. I see The Days of Rabbi Nussun, so apparently there
already is here (a) The Days of Rabbi Nussun, there already is here a
Likutay Tefilos, however, if one doesn't look at it – it is
absolutely nothing, one thinks it is just some stories, why is it so
necessary for me?! A story?! When one comes to read The Days of Rabbi
Nussun, and one can read through it as if it were a story; there was
a synagogue, it was crowded, this is a story! - No!! This is
something that happened by Rebbe'ns matters, this is something else
entirely, this is something such, such (“azellechez”).
HY
had mercy on us and He gave the holy Rebbe'n such a disciple, Rabbi
Nussun, all the disciples, however, such a Rabbi Nussun, this is
greater than all of them, greater than all of them! Such.
***
Bichu
<in you> Rabbainu Nugeela <we will rejoice>
The
holy Rebbe speaks so much about joy, we still have not found the
likes of such. In the Sichos (-The Words of Rabbi Nachman), in Sefer
Hamidos (-Character – the Aleph Bet Book of the Traits), in Likutay
Moharan – he speaks so much about joy! It really becomes apparent –
that it refers and goes on him! All the joy and thanksgiving, and
gratitude – that HY had mercy on us and gave us such a Rebbe'n!
(*See Likutay Halachos, Laws of Shabbos 5:15).
And
we need to search, we need to search, it is here, we just need to
search, it is here!
“Of
joy, what does it accomplish (Ecclesiastes 2:2)?!” Good, I believe
in G-d, I believe in Torah, enough (-it is already sufficient)! The
entire world also believes, they believe in Hashem! - - No!! The holy
Rebbe speaks so much about joy, apparently one needs to be very
joyous with the holy Rebbe! Bichu <in you> Rabbainu nugeela <we
will rejoice>!…
However
we must be sincere, we must look with a different eye, with a
truthful eye, we must search as much as necessary, we need to search,
and we need not to despair! And similarly (with) everything, What
kind of words from the holy Rebbe'n, in the Toaroas (-holy
teachings), in the Sichos (-Words of Rabbi Nachman), in the stories
(-Legendary Tales), everything is – wasn't made for anyone, just
for us! For us, in every generation and generation, for every Jew, in
every generation and generation! (*See Words of Rabbi Nachman,
article 209, how the teachings of Rabbainu are for the future
generations).
When
he says, “There is no despair in the world whatsoever” (*Likutay
Moharan, volume 2, Torah 78, “And he said in these words, 'Any
despair is absolutely not in existence (-that is the closest to the
Yiddish original I was able to afford, but the classic Hebrew
version, which Saba used here at the beginning of the paragraph is as
I rendered it there)', and he very much elongated these words 'any
despair etc.' and said them with very great power and wondrous
awesome depth, in order to teach and hint to each and every single
one in the generations to come, that they should not despair in any
way in the world, even if he undergoes whatever it is, and however he
is, even if he fell to the place that he fell, may the Merciful One
save us, since he strengthens himself with what he is (/slightly), he
still has hope to repent and return to Him Blessed He.”). A few
words, one time, two times, three times, enough! (-why is it
necessary to repeat so much), “There is no despair in the world
whatsoever!” But the “There is no despair in the world
whatsoever” went out from Rebbe'n with such a type of “gevald”
(-exclamation or outcry of emphasis – See Life of Our Leader Rabbi
Nachman, article 49, “At the time he said the Torah 'Vu-eschanan
<And I supplicated>' which is printed in the second volume of
Likutay Moharan, Torah 78, and there it speaks of the matter that it
is forbidden to ever despair of oneself, however one may be, G-d
forbid, he said then in these words, 'One must not despair of
himself. “Givald” [you] do not despair', and he drew out the word
'givald' very much, in the way of someone who warns and screams from
the depth of the heart.”), with such a type of “gevald”, to the
expiration of the soul (-kiloas hanefesh) - “giva-a-ld!” He very
much elongated with the word “gevald,” such. Afterwards his life
almost left him – then he said, “[you] Do not despair,” “Any
despair absolutely does not exist ←there is no despair in the world
whatsoever>!”
Nu,
we already heard, not once, and I already knew of it! - No, no! This
needs to be always new!
And
one must know that this all refers and goes on him, without him
(-Rabbainu) – there is (yes) despair, with him – there is not any
despair! He screamed, “Gevald,” we must know – when there is
here such a Rebbe then already, “There is no despair in the world
whatsoever!”
The
entire world knows “There is no despair in the world,” they take
a few words and it is enough (/already:), exempt, already
(/sufficiently) heard! What is there further?! - No! This is alluded
to in the “gevald,” in the “there is no despair,” this refers
to Rebbe'n, when one has him – then “there is no despair,” and
when one does not have him – there is (yeah) despair! (*See Ullim
Litrufa, Letter of Rabbi Nussun from Tuesday, Torah Portion of
Tazreya 5600, “And in their inner hearts everyone is screaming with
very great bitterness of soul on the their great alienation from the
eternal tachlis, but they are like birds caught in a trap etc., and
the great deluge of water of all the bodily desires and the vices,
especially the ordeal of money and parnasa (-livelihood) etc. grow
stronger all the time, and more than everything, the greatest
calamity over all is what most of them are extremely forlorn in
absolute despair, so that it is impossible for one to think of the
tachlis properly, and it is impossible to uplift him for many reasons
etc.. And now remember well the kindness of Hashem and His wonders
which He did with us, because you still do not know the extent to
which one needs to be strengthened, and like Admu”r (-Our Master,
leader, and Rabbainu) o.b.m. screamed with a voice of depth and
power, 'Givald (you) do not despair. Any despair is absolutely not in
existence'. And the main thing is to strengthen in joy by all the
ways that you heard. And Hashem will assist you, we will rejoice and
be happy in His salvation.”). The world looks the way it does
nebach (-pitifully, unfortunately), they don't have anyone to help
them, they don't have anyone to schlep them out of the mud! And we
see also - - when we give ourselves over to Rebbe'n, and the faith
that we have in Rebbe'n – we are saved instantly! Immediately! This
is the main thing, with this it is possible to Jews, with this it is
“ashrainoo <fortunate are we>!!!”
And
similarly every word of the holy Rebbe, and regarding joy, we see
this in the writings, in Likutay Tefilos, in Likutay Moharan, that
the main thing is – that we know of the holy Rebbe'n! One must see
to it to know from him, one must seek him! The holy Rebbe himself, in
Torah 8 (*Likutay Moharan, volume 2, 8:8), and also in other Toaroas,
says so himself, how one must seek the tzaddik, the tzaddik of the
generation, the true tzaddik, how one must search for him. Nu, we see
this again, and we see this again, and it is enough (/already) - -
***
I
Had Much Pleasure From Your Devotions
I
remember, I was drawn close in a time that there was such a type of
hunger, I was with R' Yisroel (Karduner o.b.m.). When R' Yisroel
would go to Meron, I would go with him to Meron. Nu, I was there in
Meron, and it was some few days which we didn't have what to eat, not
a piece of bread. So I thought that we must go into Tsfas (-Safed)
among people, among Jews, so that we can have something, a piece of
bread, let it be something, something sparing, something, here there
is (decisively) absolutely nothing!
Fine,
so I said to R' Yisroel'n that we need to go into Tsfas, we cannot
endure! I wanted that we should travel to Tsfas, I wanted a piece of
bread. So he said to me, “Until three days, if absolutely nothing
arrives he (Heb: we) will go,” Three days! Two days passed by. On
the third day I already awaited that we would go to Tsfas, and there
arrived three kilo of flour from R' Nussun Tirhavitzer (-a Breslover
in Tsfas)….
*
-
- It is not possible to tell over even one word, You don't know what
this means! One must put the (-his) ears and the (-his) heart, “good
good” (-very well) to every word, to be able to merit to what is
necessary! - And similarly to the Legendary Tales, and similarly to
Likutay Moharan, this is the fundamental – this shines into us the
light of the Torah! Without this everything is sealed
(/blocked/hidden)!
All
our words are only for this, so that we learn out from them how we
need to have the Rebbe'n. And this is here, here (Heb: all here)!
Everything, everything, from the beginning to the end!
This
that I merited to see with my own eyes, what I saw by R' Yisroel'n,
from this I became aware of something that the world does not know!
Such things that I saw with my own eyes – which were entirely
something else! Out of mesiras nefesh (-self sacrifice), out of such
sorts of lowliness and such sorts of degradation which are not in the
world! And that is how I merited to be slightly aware to know from
Rebbe'n, epes (-something).
I
received from all of our men, from R' Shlomo (Wexler o.b.m.) - - I
didn't sit (-live) in Jerusalem to be seen (-hangout) with them, I
traveled! I made a trip with mesiras nefesh (-self sacrifice)! HY had
mercy on me, that every time (that) I traveled, I received news, such
precious - -
However
the foundation was R' Yisroel, without R' Yisroel'n I would not have
merited to this, everything was through R' Yisroel'n!
I
was by R' Shlomo, and similarly by everyone, I traveled to receive
from them. And HY had mercy on me, he administered such roundabouts
that I merited to receive a lot from them. However, if I would not
have known from R' Yisroel'n, there wouldn't have been anything at
all, I would have had absolutely no affinity. He was the foundation,
my heart, my heart!
*
And
from this were made such things which are eternal, we have no
conception. Now I see that the truth has such a type of power – I
saw such a type of avoada (-devotion), such a type of truth, and I
had meseeras nefesh (-self sacrifice), and I had battles with the
whole world! And how I remained steadfast – all the hardships of
the world transpired, besides for the opposition there were more
hardships, there was hunger – it was engulfing from all sides! And
in this way it was hidden - -
Nu,
when it happens, one doesn't realize, however, now I see that from
the onset when I drew close to Rebbe'n, how there were administered
factors, wonders, so that I will be entirely something else! (So) I
should have such words which will illuminate the world! And this
letter (*”Petek” - The story of this wondrous letter in short, as
Saba told it over elsewhere; it was a few years after the passing of
his mentor R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m., on the fast day of the 17th
of Tamuz in the year 5682 (-1922), after his devotions from midnight
till the morning as was his way, he felt weak and sickly and decided
that it was necessary for him to break the fast, immediately
afterwards he realized that it had been unnecessary, and he was
struck down with tremendous depression for having eaten, and he
couldn't find anything to uplift him (and this was on top of his
regular regimen of dire hardships and opposition etc..) For several
days he lay immobile on a bench in the synagogue of Rabbi Meir Bal
Hanais, it was frightful even to see him. Finally Saba said to HY, it
is true that I did something wrong, but I want to repent! What is
this depression?! This can cause a desecration of Hashem, people will
say that this is the end of all the Breslovers etc. etc.. As he lay
there he had a strong notion in his head, almost as if there was a
voice inside telling him to go to his room, to his locker, and open a
holy book, and there he will find a cure. So he schlepped himself
over, and opened up a volume of Likutay Halachos, there was a paper
there which he didn't pay attention to, figuring that it was a
bookmark, he read a little from the holy book and got a little
encouragement, but it wasn't enough, and now he was filled with even
more despair, before shutting the book he took a look at the paper,
and as he read it he was filled with so much joy, as much as he had
been depressed the more he was imbued with happiness and hope. This
is what the note said: “Very
hard it was for me to descend to you\ my precious student to tell you
that I enjoyed\ greatly your service and upon you I said\ my fire
will burn until the\ mashiach will come be strong and courageous\ in
your service\ Na
NaCh NaChMu NaChMuN MEyUMaN\ and
with this I shall
reveal to you a secret and it is\ full and heaped up from end to end
(PTzPTzYH)\ and with strengthening of service you will understand it
and a sign\ the 17th of Tamuz they will say that you are not
fasting.” Saba
proceeded to dance away most of the night, and was forever inspired
and encouraged by the Petek to reach the highest devotion, loyalty,
and nullification to HY. After sixty years, Saba understood that the
time had come to fully exploit the power of the Petek to help bring
the world to the Divine truth.) - this is greater than everything1 It
is greater than everything!
This
imbued me such a type of joy, and such a type of daas (-realization
of knowledge), there are no words that can be said to convey what
this imbued me with! Nu, go scream, “I am Solomon”….. (*The
Medrash in Ruth 5:6 recounts how a demon replaced Solomon on the
throne, banishing him. Solomon went around telling people the reality
that it was in fact he who is Solomon, but no one would believe him).
If there is even one person who accepts this, it is yet something! -
-
It
is not so simple, it isn't something so simple, how can there be such
a thing?! We see – a great soul, a Rosh Yeshiva (-dean of a
yeshiva), a kabalist - - but here there is just something of an empty
vessel… this is from the Rebbe'ns wonders, this is from Rebbe'ns
wonders!
And
this is what the holy Rebbe loved, just simplicity! To run away from
the “chaizoo <appearance/facade of> hai <this> alma
<world>,” from “Kuvoad <honor> hamidooma <imaginary,
phoney, mock, feigned>,” not to hold of oneself - - I can not
hold from myself… If one is a lamdan (-skilled scholar)- if he is
humble this is a tremendous thing! But a nothing?!….
*
[The
tomb of R' Yisroel Karduner]
R'
Yisroel lies in Tiberius, in the cemetery (“field”), over there
is a tombstone, the only tombstone in the field which states: “Rabbi
Yisroel Breslover,” engraved in the tombstone… by no one is there
written another name other than the Jewish name which he was given –
just how he was called by name in his life, that is what is written
on the tombstone.
-
- “Rabbi Yisroel Breslover son of Rabbi Yehuda Halevi” his
father's name was Rabbi Yehuda, he was a Levite, “9 Cheshvon (5)679
(-Tuesday, 15 October, 1918)” - that is what is written on the
tombstone, there have already been changes done there, HY helped that
they find it, it is written on the tombstone, “Rabbi Yisroel
Breslover,” one sees this with the eyes….
In
his life he was called, “Rabbi Yisroel Breslover,” and on his
tombstone it is written, “Rabbi Yisroel Breslover”… not any
praise, just the name and the date of the yartzeit (-anniversary of
death).
*
R'
Alter Krementzuger o.b.m.
At
the beginning of my drawing close to R' Yisroel'n, the whole world
was on fire, I thought that there was only I and R' Yisroel. There
was a Jew, a Breslover chusid, who drew close to Rebbe'n when he was
thirteen years old, bar mitzvah, he was called, “R' Alter
Krementzuger” (-R' Zev Alter Karshisky o.b.m. - he merited to
attend to disciples of Rabbi Nussun), from Krementzug. I already told
over about him - - everyone has something which he is more given over
to, and this R' Alter Krementzuger, he was in “chatzoas <midnight>”
unique in the generation, a one in the generation (“chad bidura”)!
He didn't miss any chatzos in his life! A person makes a bris
(-circumcision), or he makes a “tinu'im” (-wedding contract and
accompanying ceremony), or he makes a wedding, there are times which
he can not get up for chatzos, and by him this did not happen! So it
was all his years. And when I knew (“recognized”) him, he was
already an old Jew of ninety years, and maybe even more, he was an
extremely old man.
Today
there are already roads, back then there still weren't made, and to
traverse to Rabbi Shimon'en (Bar Yochai in Meron) – there was a
mountain. Today there is already – even if it is a bit of a
mountain, but they made a road, one can descend, one can ascend. Back
then it was stones, such high stones, and he would descend, he sat
(-lived) in an old age home, and Rabbi Shimon's synagogue was below –
the tzion (-holy tomb). He would descend from the old age home, he
had a key, and he would descend for chatzos [Today there is already a
mikvah there in the courtyard, but back then the mikvah was in the
old age home]. He would go down for chatzos to Rabbi Shimon'en inside
the synagogue, he would say chatzos (-the special prayers designated
to be said anytime after midnight till daybreak). Whether he prayed
there (-the morning prayers) or whether he prayed back in the old age
home – I don't know, but he would spend his time - - he didn't go
back to sleep!
His
body and his face, one could see that he was far from eating, from
drinking, from the pleasures of this world.
*
[About
chatzos-midnight, and continuing to speak where he left off]
There
is a melody of chatzos, I can not reproduce it – it resonated from
(him- R' Yisroel Karduner) with such a type of fire, which I have no
place here, I have no part - - so all his avoada (-devotions) were
like that – fire. A wonder, a wonder!
There
is a tradition (for) a melody of chatzos, a sweet melody, and he had
epes (-somehow) such a type of sweetness in (his) voice, that is was
such, it cried out in (his) voice all his hardships - - when I heard
him praying, and similarly his chatzos – his nusach (-version,
tune, style) was, the melody of chatzos was entirely claims
(-arguments/pleas) to Hashem Yisburach! (*See Words of Rabbi Nachman
268 which points out opportunities in the set prayers of midnight, to
scream out to HY, for they very much arouse the heart, and Rabbi
Nachman repeated them in their melody, very beautifully with great
depth etc.). He asked questions – there are verses, where it is
written (Jeremiah 14:19), “Why do You strike us and we have no
healing...” and there in that paragraph there are more things. This
expression was to Hashem Yisburach as if one is asking Him - - a type
of hisbodidus, like one speaks to Hashem Yisburach and takes counsel
with Him. (*Likutay Moharan, volume 2, Torah 101, “He said that
through the recital of Tikun Chatzos it is possible to express one's
words, everything that is in his heart, just like through hisbodidus,
because mistama (-in all probability) one doesn't say it on the past,
and the main recital of chatzos goes on what is happening now with
the person, and when he says chatzos in this aspect, it is possible
to find everything that is in (“with”) his heart from the context
of the recital of chatzos etc..).
He
would sing with a melody – the holy Rebbe said that a melody can
uplift a person very much, it imbues in a person - - a melody has
enormous power. Just, we don't listen, the holy Rebbe ordered that
one should enliven himself with a melody – if the mind is muddled
(“dark”), sing a song, but not sleepy, but a song! (*Words of
Rabbi Nachman, article 75, “One should be very diligent to pray
with joy and to accustom himself that the (-his) prayer should be in
a joyous melody.” And article 273, “It is good for a person to
accustom himself to enliven himself at every occasion by means of any
melody, to bring joy to his soul and to bind himself to Hashem
Yisburach through this...”).
(When)
I heard him, I thought, “Nu, good, but how can a person like myself
merit to this?!”….
Yeah,
I could have merited to this, it is contingent only on how prepared
one is to be strong, not to listen to the world, just the Rebbe'n
(*Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article 320, “He said, whoever
listens to me and fulfills everything that I command, certainly he
will be a big tzaddik, be what may, and the main thing is to entirely
rescind (“throw away”) one's own intellect, just as he says,
fulfill everything as he said etc..” Article 354, “That if they
were drawn close to me and fulfilling my words, there isn't any level
in the world that I wouldn't bring them to that level etc..”).
There are two opposites; This world with the Rebbe'n!…
The
“Chaizoo <appearance/facade> dihaye <of this> alma
<world>” - this conceals. I saw by him that he cleansed the
body like one cleanses a pelt! Cleansed it out of all the bodily
desires and bad traits! (*Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article
234, “Also he said already that it is necessary to cleanse the body
of bodily desires like leather is tanned and transformed, that is
what is necessary for the body to be completely cleansed and
processed from bodily desires, to the extent that one can mamash
(-actually) can turn it over and see that it is completely free of
all bodily desires and bad traits etc..). And how is it cleaned out?
With prayer, and with tears, and with heart, and with fire! Oy vay -
-
*
[Returns
to the matter of the Petek – letter from Rabbainu Hakadosh o.b.m.]
Oy
gevald (-outcry, exclamation of emphasis), gevald, gevald. An
outsider can think – probably this R' Yisroel Ber isn't speaking
out (-saying everything), he is hiding. However, I know decidedly the
truth…
And
I alone (/myself), even though I saw more than others – others hear
something, but I was really in this, I saw how the circumstances were
conducted for this - - just like with the (-my) drawing close the
circumstances were set in motion, (that) suddenly there was a cause
(-occurrence) that I found the pages, and there was from this - - it
was hard for me to understand, it was bitter for me, what does this
mean (-what is written in the Petek he received from Rabbainu), “I
had a lot of pleasure from your devotions?!” My avoada
<devotions>?! And, “My precious studen?!” It was very
difficult for me, it was very difficult for me. (*See Likutay
Halachos, Laws of Blessings On Fragrance, 4:23, “And similarly in
every generation and generation, it is impossible to understand why
these merited to draw close to the true tzaddik more than other
people, because all this is the aspect of “segula” (-an object,
activity, or place that has special charm which is propitious for
something in particular or in general) which is completely impossible
to understand, but in truth Hashem is righteous in all His ways, and
has no iniquity, and certainly Hashem Yisburach dealt with everyone
in great concealment etc. see there).
However,
the truth is that it must not be difficult, because (Psalms 117:2),
“Hashem it true forever,” and it must not be difficult (Heb.: it
is forbidden to question). And if it is not difficult (Heb: if one
doesn't question), if one strengthens himself in the faith, one sees
that it is absolutely not difficult!
*
[Story
of a talmid chuchum who abnegated his opposition due to R' Yisroel
Karduner o.b.m.]
It
seems to me that I already told this over - - there was a Karliner
chassid, he is already not (-among the living), but at that time he
was a “youngerman” (-a married man who studies Torah), I was
younger than him, his name was Yisroel Goldhaber, his father's name
was Kuppel, (so) they called him (-the son) Yisroel Kuppel's. He was
an astute lamdan (-skilled scholar), a rav – in Tiberius, and by
nature he was strong minded, and he was a hard man – his word was
fearful, he was a very tough man. Nu, he was a misnaged
(-antagonist), he lived near the synagogue, near the courtyard where
R' Mottel (Slunimer o.b.m.) lived – one lived on this side, and one
lived on the other side. He would be in the synagogue regularly, and
he would be learning. I was also in the synagogue, and I would sleep
in the synagogue, I would recite kreyas shema (-recital of Shema
before going to sleep), I had a Shaaray Tzion (“Gates of Zion” a
prayerbook outfitted with many prayers, especially based on the
Arizal), I would recite from the Shaaray Tzion the kreyas shema, and
I would wake up early (“fartag” - before daybreak), I would say
chatzos (-special prayers for midnight), I would learn Likutay
Moharan. Nu, it was a burning fire, I learned with fervor and with a
warmth [even though what do I know of the Toaroas (-holy teachings),
however, the holy Rebbe lowers himself down to every single one and
speak to every single one…].
In
any event, he saw these two things, and he was a misnaged
(-antagonist), he would come over to me with such a type of anger –
I thought he would kill me, he went over to (to) me mamash (-really)
with the hands, “Shaaray Tzion was made for you?! Are you at all a
Jew?! And for that matter – why do you only learn Likutay Moharan?!
Are there no other books?! Are there no Talmuds?! Are there no other
books?!...” He was upon me to kill and destroy… Because by nature
he was tough, and his words were very tough, and he spoke with such
sharpness, and he was a misnaged (-antagonist), so he took revenge on
me, and he made of me ashes and dust.
This
same youngerman (-young man who studies Torah), HY brought about –
that he was by R' Yisroel'n the last night before they took him into
the hospital, he was by R' Yisroel'n the last night! So he came over
to me – this Yisroel Kuppel's, Yisroel Goldhaber, and he told me,
“I am no longer a misnaged (-antagonist)! I was by R' Yisroel'n
that night, and I saw his suffering, and how he was happy with the
suffering, and how he always held the (-his) beard with the pehyos
(-sidelocks), and said, 'What do I have to worry when I will be
coming to the next world with the beard and pehyos!' (*See Letters of
Rabbi Nussun, from Monday, Torah Portion of Trumah, 5602 how joyous
one should be to have a beard and pehyos which are the main Divine
Image. And see Siach Sarfay Kodesh 2:219, and also in the Additions
to the Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, that Rabbainu said, “Why
should the dying man be depressed, when he he lies with the feet to
the door (-the way the dead are laid out) with a beard and pehyos!”).
Yeah…
This
is supernatural – what he has in his heart he must tell over to
me?! In any event, from that night on – he told me – I am no
longer a misnaged! R' Yisroel made me a non-misnaged!
And
he had derech eretz (-formal respect) before me – the exact
opposite of what was previously. He had derech eretz before me, and
he had “yiras hakavoad (-reverence)” like one has before a
king!….
And
this that you hear is just a little – just a picture, what took
place, this isn't it. I was really in this, until today there is
stuck in me the poison, how he scorned me, “For you – Shaaray
Tzion?! Are you already even at all a Jew?!” In any even, he made
of me ashes and dust. And this that I learned Likutay Moharan with a
fervor, he couldn't bear. He so derided me, and utterly put me down.
And it came to be the complete opposite, it was like this for all his
years – when he would see me he wanted me to talk to him, that I
should tell over to him about R' Yisroel'n. Turned around exactly the
opposite! He stood (straight/exactly) like a simple (“coarse”)
young (-man), like he knows absolutely nothing, and he stood and
looked into my mouth (-followed my every word)!…
[Such]
a story – what the holy Rebbe can do, such deeds…
This
will be of great benefit to him in the next world – he is already
in the next world, this will help him – that he rescinded his
opposition, and he humbled himself so much to me – I don't know
what – he knew that I am simple (“coarse”) young (-man)…
*
[Returns
to the story of his drawing close to Rabbainu with mesiras nefesh]
Oy
oy oy oy. Thank G-d, today I live with the vitality – that I
remember that there was in the world a Jew by the name of R' Yisroel.
And HY brought about such circumstances, how I was able to hold by
him for a few years, amid such degradation, with such blood shed - -
who can tell this over?! Who never saw this. This is how it was every
day, different stories with different things.
At
that time it was a darkness in my life, bitter and dark, and today I
see how good it is, specifically like this! This is the essence! And
this is what the holy Rebbe taught us, the harder it is – one must
know that for this he came down to this world! The harder it is, the
more it overpowers a person – it is specifically this that must be
done! This is from the seechoas (*Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 57,
“that the matter (-bad trait or desire) which overwhelms a person,
and he is sunken in it, specifically this matter he needs to break
for Hashem Yisborach, because this is His (/his) fundamental avoada
(devotion).”).
*
He
(R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m.) was very attached to Rabbi Shimon'en,
immeasurably, to Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, to the holy Zohar. He was
always sitting (-living) by Rabbi Shimon'en, he couldn't detach
himself - -
He
was once living with the (-his) family in Meron, so he was also by
Rabbi Shimon'en. In Meron he was in the old age home, and he was
(Heb: alone) by Rabbi Shimon'en. He had a key for the door (-the holy
tomb was locked at night), and he was with Rabbi Shimon'en alone.
*
[More
about the letter – Petek – from Rabbainu]
-
- I showed it in Tiberius to a kabalist, a misnaged (-antagonist)
<Rabbi Avrohom Ashkenazi o.b.m.>, his father was Rabbi Yoel
Ashkenazi (o.b.m. from the elders of the chasidim of Slunim in
Tiberius). In any case, I learned with him when we were young, we
lived in the very same town, just that he was a misnaged, and I
merited – this is already something else. However he was very –
he was not any plain person. And when he would come to Tiberius he
would come to me. Nu, I wanted to do him a favor, but I saw that it
wasn't going. I gave him books of Rebbe'n, I gave him the Likutay
Aitzoas (Collection of Advice/directives/remedies) - - in short, I
showed him the note (-the Petek), and he was very moved,
immeasurably!
-
- I do not seek any testimony, and I look not for any proof. However,
I know that this is completely not from me, this is from the holy
Rebbe'n, the holy Rebbe takes a Yisroel Ber'n as well…
***
[Continuing
the story of R' Alter Krementzuger]
I
would go in to (-visit) this R' Alter Krementzuger, and they were the
first marriage, he was an old man, and she was an old woman, yeah.
And he – even in his old age – the (-his) face was like a seven
year old child, a young child, the eyes with the face. By nature when
one gets older one gets wrinkles, (but) his face was very soft, not a
fresser, one could recognize on his face.
And
he never once sat idle. He would descend from the old age home to
Rabbi Shimon'en. There were such stones, one could slip, and one
could break the hands and the feet. And there are winds over there,
between the stones, when the wind goes through it is mamash (-really)
- - he held himself to the stones, and in this way he would descend
to the bottom. It was mamash meseeras nefesh (-self sacrifice),
because he was a delicate man, a light body, not a heavy body, the
wind could have carried him away… and this is how he would go the
the tzion (-holy tomb).
And
he told me about R' Yisroel'n, that he had heard from our men - - he
was drawn close yet before R' Yisroel'n, he was an old Jew, R'
Yisroel was forty and some years old, and he was ninety years old. In
any event, he told me that he had heard from our men, “If R'
Yisroel would have been in the time of Rabbi Nussun'en – he (still)
would have been a novelty!” That is what he told me – that, that
is what he heard from our men! And he strengthened me that I should
be steadfast, that I shouldn't listen to anyone!
***
Yeah,
all the time nebach (-pitifully, unfortunately) we see that the
Shechina (-Divine Presence) is in exile (“Shichinta bigaloosa”),
there are “gedoalim” (-greats), gedoalim – who made themselves
leaders (“manheegim”). (*See Likutay Halachos, Orach Chaim, Laws
of Shabbos 5:9, “And if this true tzaddik of every generation would
be revealed in the world, and the whole world would be truly drawn
close to him, the world would already be rectified. Because this
tzaddik has the power to rectify the whole world, if they didn't hide
and conceal him. However, in every generation and generation there is
the aspect of the wars of (-against) Amulaik, and the main war of
Amulaik, may his name be blotted out, is exclusively specifically
against this true tzaddik who is the the “Roash <head of>
Ba-yis <the house>” etc.. Because the klipa (-husk- evil
force) of Amulaik is pleased to have Israel draw close to all the
heads of the world, even heads that have a part in holiness, that are
somewhat kosher men, and even if they are tzaddikim, just that they
still have in them some grip of the bad, and they don't have the
power to take Israel out of bad to good. Therefore Amulaik is content
for all these heads to be greats and famous with prestigious names
(-reputations) in the world, and that they should have great elevated
status. And his entire evil intention is only in order to hide
through this the name of the true “Roash Ba-yis <Head of the
House>, who is the head of all the heads of the world, and he is
the true “Baal Haba-yis (-Master of the House)” of the world, for
the main rectification of all the people in the world to return to
Hashem Yisburach is specifically through him etc..”
Likutay
Halachos, Choashen Mishpat, Laws of Buying and Selling 3:11, “And
even totally righteous tzaddikim, not all of them merit to completely
break the aspect of the left, and therefore everyone needs to receive
from one another (“this one from this one, and this one from this
one”), until they all receive from the true head whom is in each
generation and generation, who is the tzaddik of the generation, who
is “chad <one – unique> bidura <in a/the generation>,”
who merited to the point of truth, to utterly break the body, who
unites everything to its root etc.. That is, because even great
people and tzaddikim, not all of them merit that their learning goes
up to the Shechina (-Divine Presence), because few are those who
merit to this, and therefore everyone needs, in every generation and
generation to bind themselves to the tzaddik of the generation, for
then they merit that the tzaddik will receive their Torah and make
from it Torah novelties, and then their Torah and their learning
returns and is included in the Shechina through the tzaddik etc..”),
and I know - - there are some which are not misnagdim (-antagonists),
and there are some which are big misnagdim, small misnagdim, however
one thing (-is unanimous) – they do not speak at all of the Tikun
Haklali (-The ten Psalms Rabbi Nachman revealed to be a
general/comprehensive rectification, as they are rooted in the Song
of the Future, Na NaCh NaChMa NaChMaN (1,2,3,4=10) Me'Uman), and
certainly not of Likutay Tefilos… what is it then – they aren't
misnagdim, he doesn't patch (-slap, hit)…. [-BH Today even many of
the misnagdim are already strong proponents of the Tikun Haklali, and
Saba's words here are befitting to the main root of the Tikun
Hakalili, which is Rabbainu's name in the special formula of the Song
of Redemption: Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman].
***
[Speaking
of the President of Israel, Zalman Shazar, whom Saba drew close to
Rabbainu]
-
- Oy vay, oy vay, oy vay, from this itself we see – he needed to
come to me?! Was he missing honor?! He had friends, the greatest
professors - - with Yisroel Ber?! We see from the wonders of
Rebbe'ns!
I
remember, when I used to sit with him – he would sit exactly
(/straight) like someone that knows absolutely nothing of what is
going on, exactly like one who knows absolutely nothing, and that is
how he listened. And I saw his face, I saw such – I didn't ask him
if he was bettering himself, if he is doing teshuva (-repentance) –
I never once asked him. I only spoke with him of Rebbe'n, and I told
him that he should learn the Rebbe'ns books. And I discerned that it
was making a tumult in him, but what and when (Heb: who – I really
did not know. I had a spy, in the house, his sister, and she was
extremely happy over this, and she told me, “Since he knows you,”
she looked upon me like (at) an angel – “that it is possible to
turn him around like this to the diametric opposite?!” And she told
me that there is a conflict in the house (-against his return to
Torah observance)….
***
Be
Strong and Courageous In Your Avoada (devotions)
-
- And this is somewhat of a matter which is inherent in the note
(-the Petek), every time I see more. It depends on how one accepts
it, with what kind of temimus (-sincerity, wholeheartedness), with
what kind of truth one accepts it. However, I alone certainly know
more than everyone what it is doing here – what it is. And the more
time that goes by, I see epes (some, somehow) new things which are
there, in Rebbe'ns words – every word is a “nachal <brook>
noavaya <gushing>,” it is a fountain, from a Torah, from a
seecha <talk, discourse>, and in this matter.
*
This
is the matter of Rebbe'ns, it is not Heaven forbid doubtful – this
(-would be) inappropriate! Doubts are not a good thing, one can
Heaven forbid – with a hairbreadth – it coud be good and it could
be the opposite, it is completely contingent on the mind – in the
faith!
*
Here
in the note (-the Petek), not so long ago I spoke at length – that
there shines here such a type of encouragement! - - If one looks at
the writing, one sees the wording with the writing – if one looks
for the truth one can understand from this that this is not something
that one can have doubts about!
*
In
any case, as we already schmoozed about this, that this which is
written there, “It was very difficult for me to come down to you”
- before everything, the “ailechu <to you>” - is written
with such a type of aleph which screams out the “upper point and
the nether point” (*The letter aleph of the formal Ashurite script
is comprised of a diagonal line which runs from the top left to the
bottom right, on each side of this line are small dashes – little
letter yuds – which are referred to as points. In the holy Petek,
the aleph in the word “ailechu” is written in the Ashurite
script, unlike most of the other alephs in the petek which are in
Rashi script which has an altogether different design, and in
addition it has extremely pronounced yuds.) - “Moses and Joshua”
- “Rav and disciple” (*See Likutay Moharan, Torah 6, where
Rabbainu revealed and explained these secrets. (Also the word
“ailechu” is explained kabalisticly where it appears in the
opening verse of the Tachanun.) On a different occasion Saba
attributed this hint to R' Shlomo Wexler who told it to him. And see
also Likutay Halachos, Laws of Shabbos 7:27, “And in every single
generation, according to how much each one surmounts to draw close to
the true tzaddik, out of plentiful degradation and bloodshed, so (-in
that measure) shines the aspect of Moses to the aspect of Joshua,
whom are the aspects of Rav and disciple etc..).
Afterwards,
“to come down to you” - nu, a real dread befalls, for the holy
Rebbe it is difficult such a type of descent?! (*In the matter of the
tzaddik descending to a disciple, see Likutay Moharan, volume 2,
Torah 38). For the holy Rebbe it is difficult - “to come down to
you?!” (If that is the case – may) HY should guard and save (us)!
Nu,
immediately (after) it is written, “my precious student!”…
After the descent, after the entire - - “my precious student!”
“My student” alone is also - - “My precious student?!” What
would have been if neither of them were written, not “my student,”
not “the precious?!”
“It
was very difficult for me to come down to you <omitting the words
“my precious student”> to tell you that I had great
enjoyment!” Nu, “I enjoyed” - this isn't any letter that one
just (“stam”) writes. Every letter, every word is a “nachal
<brook> noavaya <gushing>!” Such - - “I enjoyed very
much?!” “I enjoyed” is also - - there is not written any extra
word, not any extra letter in the holy Rebbe'ns wording, in the holy
Rebbe'ns matters! This is from him himself, his writing, his wording
- - what is “my precious student?” And what is, “I enjoyed very
much?” “I had very much enjoyment from your devotions” - that
is what is written, “I had great enjoyment from your devotions!”
“And
upon you I said” - every matter is in a different script (/style),
there are two scripts there - - the “and a sign,” this writing is
already germane to the second (-last) line, the second (-last) line
should have started, “And a sign, the 17th of Tamuz?!”
- -
“And
upon you I said,” there is in this amazing encouragement, in
general – this entire letter (there) shines there a great light of
encouragement (“hischazkus”).
*
R'
Simcha Bunim (Kalushiner o.b.m., and elder from the Breslovers from
Poland) told me - - I used to go to him every day to visit the sick,
and he was nebach (-pitifully, unfortunately), he suffered such a
type of – suffering, he was nebach like that - - and I heard from
his such novelties, what he did of (-his morale despite) the
suffering! I didn't understand how this man lived – and he was
happy!
He
saw the note (-the Petek), and he said, “This note was written for
me!” “This is a healing for me!” He requested of me, that he
wants to hold on to it for a little, he wants to revitalize himself
with it. Nu, so I gave it to him, he revitalized himself, it gave him
life, such.
In
short, he told me that I should leave it by him for a little, and he
went to pray Mincha (-afternoon service) with all his strength, he
couldn't hold back - - he said, “What do you say to that?! Yisroel
Ber has a letter – a note from Rebbe'n! And this is my cure, this
is a salvation for me!”
*
From
one side, the note (-the Petek) after all makes a gloominess, because
I should have to be appear (Heb: behave) differently, I should have
to always be dancing, I should have to always – even in the worst
suffering – I should have to appear (-be) completely different in
avoadas (-service of) Hashem, I should burn like a fire, when one
sees such a thing! And I am like nebach (-pitifully, unfortunately)
exactly – exactly like the world, like (this)….
*
And
R' Eliyahu Chaim (Rosen o.b.m. a venerable Breslover) he was such a
great - - In short I brought it to him. Nu, he was engaged constantly
in reading it. In short, the son (R' Kalman?) came over to me, he
asked, he wants to hold on to it until tomorrow, he wants to make a
copy. - - Nu, one definitely does not neglect such a thing, perhaps
there will be a fire, nu HY helped that the note (-the Petek) lives
on!
*
And
this letter was sleeping sixty years (-from when it was revealed on
the 23rd of Tamuz 5682-1922 until the end of 5741-1982,
the time of this talk), and now it is arousing! And perhaps it will
arouse even more and more and more! It will come in – there will be
an uproar in the world! Such a type of thing?!
Because
reading this, a dread is befallen, the signature! Until in this note
(-the Petek) it was unheard of that there was to be found a (person
of) flesh and blood who signs like this - - single, double, triple,
quadruple! This is such - - oy. (*In the holy Petek, Rabbainu signed
his name Na <single – one letter> NaCh <double – two
letters> NaChMa <triple – three letters> NaChMaN
<quadruple – four letters> MeUman – this method is applied
frequently in kabala to Divine Names, foremost being YHVH – Y YH
YHV YHVH which the Zohar even provides as the formula of the song of
the future. Saba is saying that the fact that Rabbi Nachman was able
to sign his name in this method, that heretofore was assigned only to
Divine Names, is such an awesome revelation of his greatness, that
one is awestruck).
*
In
short, he could have written “I enjoyed” with out the “very
much (-great),” “I had enjoyment <omitting the intensifier>
from your devotions!” This is written plainly?! No! Here shines a
great light of encouragement! The way you conduct yourself, and the
way you recognize (/are able) yourself, and the way you know, “I
had great enjoyment from your devotions!” With the entire descent!!
And
this alone, just these words – he could have written, “It was
very difficult for me to come down to you <omitting the words “my
precious student”> - to tell you that I greatly enjoyed your
devotions!” But this “my precious student” does not need to be
written?! This isn't just any letter which writes “my precious
student” - this is intentional, this is designated, this is a light
of encouragement! A light for everyone! Every single one must see
what is going on here, they need to have a study of themselves so
that the bal duvur (-litigator – evil inclination, Satan) won't
have dominion over them, so that he won't cast him down! Because his
(-the evil guy) undertaking is only – to cast him down, and the
holy Rebbe – his undertaking is to lift us up!
Nu,
but he (-the evil) does his (part), on the contrary – against
Rebbe'ns men he rises up more! (*See Life of Our Leader Rabbi
Nachman, article 301, and Likutay Halachos, Laws of the Prayer of
Mincha 7:23). He wants to cast us down into danger! One is constantly
at war!
In
was one can catch a blow! I give someone a blow, someone gives me a
blow. Nu, one must really have some sort of merchandise so that the
enemy cannot Heaven forbid give such blow that he won't be able to
get up!….
*
-
- It is written there (-in the Petek) the name of Rosh Hashana, the
greates angel of mercy! (*See the Arizal's prayer for the one who
blows the shofar, “May there be will from before You etc. that You
send me all the pure angels, attendants faithful in their missions,
and desiring to merit Israel, and the great angel PTzPTzYH (-the one
mentioned in the Petek) who is in charge of bringing forth the merits
of Israel when Your nation Israel blow the shofar etc..” [PTzPTzYH
has the numerical value of Na NaCh NaChMa NaChMaN with the
inclusive]). Because there are more angels, and this angel –
according to the writings of the Ari – this angel which is written
here in the note (-the Petek) is such - -
***
To
Arouse From Sleep
-
- Oy vay, oy vay, “it is a pity on you and on me!” The King's
daughter cried and shrieked, “it is a great pity on you and on me!”
(*Legendary Tales, Story #1 of a Lost Princess). Without the note
(-the Petek) – when there is already such a Likutay Tefilos, and
such a Likutay Moharan – and we sleep?! We should have to be such
holy tzaddikim that the entire world would run after us! We should
have such a type of chain (-grace, charm, favor) – a chain of
truth! (*Likutay Moharan, Torah 60 castigates chain of falsehood, see
there). And this has a power of magnetism (*like a gravitational
pull, see Likutay Moharan, Torah 70) – so that the entire world
will run after us, “Oy Breslov, Breslov, Breslov!….”
Nu,
and we nebach (-pitifully, unfortunately) sleep! The (-our) prayer is
not the prayer (-as it should be) - - because I heard a prayer! The
way it is, one can think that we pray well, but I heard a prayer –
when I remind myself of this prayer, I see that I stand completely
outside!
And
from where did he get this? Everything from the Rebbe'ns words! From
where was there a R' Yisroel (-Karduner)?! It is not given to say,
“once, there was a R' Yisroel!” The holy Rebbe is here - -
whoever wants to draw close and get out of the vanities of this world
(*Story of the Seven Beggars, the Beggar with the Crooked Neck), from
all the deficiencies of the world (*-the Deaf Beggar), from all the
sins, from all the bodily desires! (*See Life of Our Leader Rabbi
Nachman, article 230, “And I heard from his holy mouth a few times,
that the main thing is contingent just on exertion and devotions
etc., and through this it is possible for every person to come to
great levels etc.. And he said, 'I can make (someone) a kosher man
who is called “gitter yid <a good Jew – euphemism for Chasidic
Master>” mamash (-really, actually, exactly) like me.'” And
see Likutay Halachos, Laws of the Morning Blessings 3:6, “What most
people are mistaken about themselves, and they think that their soul
isn't holy in its root, and it is difficult for them to return to
Hashem and to be a truly righteous man or kosher man like the other
tzaddikim and kosher ones, as is the customary rhetoric of people to
say when there is talk of a righteous man or a truly kosher and
Heaven fearing man, and there begins to arouse in them as well
thoughts of repentance, to draw close to Hashem Yisburach, because
every Jew is full of thoughts of pangs of repentance and drawing
close to Hashem Yisburach always, just afterwards they immediately
say who can be like that righteous man etc., for he had a holy
neshama (-soul) from his youth, as if the righteousness of the
tzaddikim and the kosher ones is just due to a holy neshama (-soul)
that they have from birth, which is not the truth, because the main
righteousness of the tzaddik is just through his exertion and toil in
His service blessed He, many, many days, and copious years, and he
surmounted and strengthened himself each time, and did not let
himself fall in any way, and abounded in prayer and entreaty, until
he merited to what he merited, and every person can be like them,
because there is free choice (“becheera chufshee”) etc..”).
And
so it is with the Toaroas (-holy teachings), and with the prayers,
and with the stories. We sit and we speak and we look and desire –
and we sleep! How is this? How can this be?! - -
This
is what I see with the note (-the Petek), I see something (amazing)
like this - - I should have to be mamash (-really) entirely different
than the world – not this person! Nu, this is the power of becheera
(-free choice), I fall once into sadness, into depression, and the
sort, it is impossible to pray, one falls into the desires of eating,
into sleeping - - how does one have time for eating and for
sleeping?!
*
R'
Shlomo Wexler o.b.m.
I
saw by R' Shlomo'n (Wexler o.b.m.) - - I was jealous of him – I saw
how he eats – without any movement of falsehood (*See Likutay
Moharan, Torah 60 regarding chain <charm> of falsehood)!
Entirely true! He sat, one person alone at home, and ate with
holiness and purity - - just like a bird, a little piece – he
inserted it and held it in his mouth until it dissolved, and
afterwards he swallowed it, and like this again - - I didn't
understand how he lives?! - -
*
-
- Even I myself, that I received the entire matter, I should have to
have a good life with the note (-the Petek), different than the rest
of the world, and I look at myself – such eating, with such
sleeping, with such praying….
*
The
R' Shlomo – he was always sitting, by day and by night, and serving
HY – Torah and prayer!
He
did not have any family – he had a b”b (?), and when he was old
he had two orphaned grandchildren. This R' Shlomo did not have any
children, and he had miraculously – he had a daughter, and the
daughter – I remember – would come to R' Shlomo'n, she was a big
tzaddekes (-righteous woman), she would stand on her feet with a holy
book, she would pray and learn, she was bright like (Heb: similar) R'
Shlomo'n… In any event, the daughter got married, and had twins,
and she – not on us – passed away in childbirth, and the twins
remained.
When
I would come to Jerusalem – when I would come into R' Shlomo'n –
it was by a him a joyous occasion like a wedding, how [this R'
Shlomo] his face radiated – the joy – it was such! What is [it]?
I knew (“recognized”) R' Yisroel'n! He heard what happened with
me….
I
ate with him by the table [- she never once at with him by the table,
she ate alone – she was never once by the table]. He took such
small pieces – because he didn't want to feel a taste of any… -
so he inserted a small piece of challah and a small piece of fish,
and he didn't chew! (*See Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 246, “I
was looking at his eating, and he was aiming not to let the food
enter inside the mouth and palate, he would just bring it inside
between his teeth, and he would chew it there without help of the
palate, and whoever eats like that, has almost no feeling of taste in
his eating, and it is impossible to describe this matter in writing,
but the reader will understand this by himself. And whoever wants to
utterly break the desire of eating, so as not to receive and
enjoyment from his eating, through this pointer he can easily merit
to this.”) It lay in his mouth, and we spoke, and it lay in his
mouth – and he swallowed it, and he took another piece, and so it
was a few times. I thought to myself, “how can the body endure?!”…
He accustomed the (-his) stomach, his stomach was already accustomed
to such a type of eating…
[Just]
to look at his visage, his speech - - Rabbi Chaim Sonnenfeld (-The Av
Bais Din – Chief Magistrate of the Aidah Hacharaidis – the Haredi
Congregation of Jerusalem) had derech eretz (-formal respect, like
standing up in honor) before him! Rabbi Chaim was really a Litvak
(-of the Lithuanian school, which favored the study of Talmud over
everything), and by a Litvak – whoever can learn more, whoever is
more knowledgeable, more of a lamdan (-skilled scholar) – and R'
Shlomo was a lamdan, he had nothing to be ashamed of before Rabbi
Chaim'en….
This
Rabbi Chaim Sonnenfeld would pray vasikin (-at sunrise) in the
(synagogue of the neighborhood of) Butay Machseh, and R' Shlomo also
prayed vasikin, they saw each other every day, and Rabbi Chaim held
of R' Shlomo'n - - he (Rabbi Chaim) was the head of the Aguda, there
was Rabbi Moshe Blau with others - - R' Shlomo was by him a “chad
<one> bidura <in a generation>”! R' Shlomo was by him –
holy of holies! He didn't have another (“a second”) like R'
Shlomo!
R'
Shlomo did not have derech eretz (-formal respect) before him…
there was a conflict on Rav Kook, and it was necessary that he should
go out strong (against him), if he did not come out as strong as it
was necessary – so R' Shlomo had no derech eretz (-formal respect)
for Rabbi Chaim'en….
*
R'
Yisroel was a different world, R' Yisroel was - - his meseeras nefesh
(-self sacrifice), and his common sense (/straight <direct and
honest> intellect), his hisbodidus. So R' Shlomo would krechtz
(-groan) – R' Shlomo would say to me, “Where does one get (/take)
R' Yisroel's avoada (devotion)?!”
***
[Returning
to the matter of the letter – the Petek – from Rabbainu o.b.m.]
Everything
– when one looks with an honest eye, from the beginning of the note
(-the Petek), from the first word, and further on in order – there
is what to be learned as a study.
In
truth, I already spoke a lot of this, and (for) what again and again
- - a hairbreadth more is already completely something else!
*
In
the note (-the Petek) – there is only one aleph which screams out
about the “Rav and disciple” (*Likutay Moharan, Torah 6:5 – the
upper and lower appendages of the aleph), “ailechu <to you –
the first letter of this word is an aleph>” - such an aleph, the
vav (-the Hebrew letter vav is basically a vertical line – and the
diagonal line of the aleph is called a vav) with the two dots (-the
aleph is a diagonal line with one dot above it and one dot below it)
screams epes (-some, somehow) out a call, a proclamation….
By
Rebbe'n is it possible to say?! - What type of relevance does a
person like me have by Rebbe'n?! We see how the holy Rebbe can write
to Yisroel Ber'n, “my precious student” - embedded in this is
such a type of encouragement! “My precious student” - these two
words, it could have been without these two words!
“To
come down to you <omitting the words “my precious student”>
to tell you that I had great pleasure from your devotions!” “I
had great pleasure,” the “great (-a lot, very much)” - there
are no extra words written like in a letter one writes what he wants,
this is not so! Every word is a “nachal <brook> noavaya
<gushing>!” There are implanted in this amazing things! Just
when one goes with truth, not to be smart in his own eyes, because
when one is wise in his own eyes, one can make of this a laytzunoos
(-mockery) - -
If
one looks well, one sees – for example, “And upon you I said my
fire will burn until Messiah is coming – be strong and courageous
in your avoada <devotions>,” the writing of “in your
avoada” still appertains to the previous line, and “be strong and
courageous” is a different world, it is a matter of itself (-Saba
is pointing out how the Petek should have written “be strong and
courageous in your devotion” altogether in its own line after
finishing the matter of “until Messiah is coming.” Whereas the
Petek allocated a whole line just for the one (Hebrew) word “in
your avoada” and kept the words “be strong and courageous” as a
run on after “until Messiah is coming.”).
*
There
are people whom when they see such a thing, they can think of me that
this is somehow (/something) from me (“my side” - due to my own
merit) – it is forbidden to be like that! This is forbidden to be!
This note (-The Petek) is not from (-in the merit of) my frumkeit
(-devoutness), from my righteousness, from my wisdom! This is such a
thing that the holy Rebbe - “It was very difficult for me to come
down to you” - this is a lesson for each and every one! Because if
the holy Rebbe wrote this just for me alone, he would write that I
should not reveal it to a stranger, and that is not written – so it
is apparent that the desire of Rebbe'n is that they should know,
whoever desires – “he who desires to hear will hear, and he who
desires to abstain will abstain (Ezekiel 3:27).”
Here
is set an amazing light of revelation of the Divine which is
unfathomable! Which is from Rebbe'ns novelties! This is really such a
novelty that there has yet to be heard of such a thing from anyone!
*
Na
Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman
No comments:
Post a Comment